a song my children will not like: there is a rain

there is a rain
it cannot wash my hands
it cannot clean my mind
it cannot heal my soul

there is a rain
i have loved
cared, left, lost,
i have been a traitor

i have lied,
i have killed,
i have listened
and i have been
present
i met my fears

i have fucked
and i have cheated
i know  prisons,
illusion, entrapment,
quarrels and sorrow
i have
violated happiness

i have tried to ease pain
and suffering
i have held hands
i have rarely healed
i could not help so much

i have jugded, hated,
i got in   rages
and i have forgiven

i have gone so far
travelled,
but i stayed alone
as you will stay

you and me
we cannot rely
on the ground we walk

if love happens
love
if you want to laugh
laugh

if you want to dance
dance
if you need to cry
cry

if you fall,
fall,
get up
and walk

be present

i have touched
bodies and minds
i have melted,
i have fallen,
i felt joy
and i laughed.
i smiled.
i tried to forget myself
and i have risen many times

there is a rain.
my hands are dirty
my mind struggles with clouds
my courage leads me
to fight windmills

i saw so many
dying and dead
i will never forget
the eyes of a boy
bitten by a snake

he could not talk
his eyes asked
me
for a very long time

a very  very long time
and time lost all meaning
'where do i go?'

i never found
an answer.

there is a rain.
be present.

Sergei Rachmaninov - Cello Sonata

there are clots in the sky

there is the king

his wings cut

and his claws numb

he yawns

the waste land

mirrors his longing

do not tickle

the king

he will cry

and howl

he does not

want to laugh

in his loneliness

there is the king

he needs

a mind to touch

now

there was the king

he will go

without a smile

sand and pebbles

follow his steps

trembling

the earth turns

the mind turns

the king turns

the milk turns

there are clots in the sky

and the sun is black

a sad woman dances for nothing

not yet ...but i started again to paint

Mercedes Sosa Cantora 1 - Celador de sueños

Peter Gabriel - Come Talk To Me

Otis Taylor--Buy Myself Some Freedom (audio)

gates

"YOU"
is the gate
to another dimension.
always.

busy

busy with the present presence on thin ground...mine. if you ever tried to kind of dance rock 'n' roll alone at night in an ice stadion you know what i mean. the lights go off and you will hurt your bum or bang your head. or both. then try to get up and out. o and it might be a lake underneath and spring started. when the lights go on everybody will clap. to nobody. but i assure you: i'm still here:
good to ride, shoot, steal apples