on happiness: for Alice

on happiness

happiness happens,

i wish you 

to be happy,

wish it for me

sadness is 

happiness lost

and pain

is nothing but loss

courage

is to live

accepting

what happens

humour

is to know

one's fragility

and smile

kindness

is to give

a smile

out of pain

happiness

is to give

a smile

with joy

love is

to meet

confusion

with embrace

laughter

is recognition

and release,

the same as tears

but true,

words are words,

there is no truth:

only this we do

to slay the dragon

to slay the dragon is bullshit.
we have to make them friends,
but when we want to do this
it is a task of love and requires more
courage than we usually have.
we have to go down, down in deep
dark places, we have to stumble
with watery eyes through the stench
and we have to stay fearless
when we see our dragon,
we cannot really talk to him or her,
dragons don't understand our language,
he or she cannot translate, he or she can perceive our voice
and our way of walking and smell our
essence, we can go and embrace him or her,
we cannot tame dragons, but we can make them feel
well with us.

maybe we can catch a ride, they are there anyway, dragons,
in all of us. we ride better with a friend.
for me, the myth means to live with the maze
of emotions in the light of consciousness
and human kindness.

no, love is not a toy sailing boat.

help me to break the circle

help me to break the circle

to untie the knots

my fingers are clumsy

and i slip on the ground

help me, Alice

or we will all

be lost and free

in nowhere

which is somewhere

where we don't belong

help me to be here

Alice, I cannot thank

you for your help 

in words and presence

but it is our knot

and task, i know 

help me, Alice,

i don't want to

cut it with a sword

i am so clumsy

i will just cut my finger

and my heart.

the truth of beauty, perishable but it grows out of itself

expected

'All love stories are frustration stories… To fall in love is to be reminded of a frustration that you didn’t know you had (of one’s formative frustrations, and of one’s attempted self-cures for them); you wanted someone, you felt deprived of something, and then it seems to be there. And what is renewed in that experience is an intensity of frustration, and an intensity of satisfaction. It is as if, oddly, you were waiting for someone but you didn’t know who they were until they arrived. Whether or not you were aware that there was something missing in your life, you will be when you meet the person you want. What psychoanalysis will add to this love story is that the person you fall in love with really is the man or woman of your dreams; that you have dreamed them up before you met them; not out of nothing — nothing comes of nothing — but out of prior experience, both real and wished for. You recognize them with such certainty because you already, in a certain sense, know them; and because you have quite literally been expecting them, you feel as though you have known them for ever, and yet, at the same time, they are quite foreign to you. They are familiar foreign bodies.'

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/10/05/adam-phillips-missing-out-frustration-love/?mc_cid=5e19106c81&mc_eid=d4633eff0a

Something else

One day i asked Alice:

what would you do if you missed me so much that it hurts?

Something else, she said.

This is why i write...Alice~

flying cages and Alice

    don't know these flying cages

but have a lot of imagination on flying    cages, deep wells, dark cellars with onions and potatoes stored in slowly rotting wooden shelves and insects crawling in the crevices of the floor, dungeons and Alice and me in all of them being caught in mirrors. Who the fc is Alice?

I lost her on the road, i asked the Mad Hatter, and i am still looking for her.

also i have loads of imagination on apples, orchards, strawberries, cherries, sunflowers, roses, trees, rivers, lakes and cornfields and green meadows and thunderstorms and in all of them Alice and me walking hand in hand, making love, sleeping, waking, greeting birds and foxes and the far hills.

where is Alice?

Lost?

i asked the moon, the stars, the sun, horoscopes, peddlers, beggars,fishes and otters and card players, i asked in all places i've been. most i got were whispered hints from a snake, lisping and hissing so much that i didn't understand.

now i ask you: where are you now, Alice?