Sneem
Drimnamore
Friday, October 4, 2019
diary note, stormy night
love..is a four letter word and it is a river.
it creates valleys, waterfalls, strong currents, soft lakes,
it joins us into the sea. and beyond, into the clouds, the rain, in all
and all is in all-in love.
giving freely in love , from one's heart is joy.
to be in a trap, bound to obligation, is not to give freely-
only when obligations and bonds are taken on by both, when there is a flow and communication,
when clearness can permit silence and allow free talking on problems.
yesterday i saw a film on the rivers of the Nile, the blue, the white, the ancient yellow one.
i remember the many hours i spent on Lake Victoria, on the Nile in an inflatable between Uganda and Sudan with thunderstorms and so many snakes, fishing around the Murchison Falls-and the sadness of dead animals along The Nile,killed in the civil war, thousands of maggots dripping into the water from dead Hippos.
Also i remember a narrow escape from hippos on Lake Edward, blown across with the sunset wind, engine finished, fishermen pulled us out with a traditional wooden boat, a tree trunk hollowed and formed with fire and much labour.
i also remember my older son's Malaria after and a hard drive along dangerous roads to a small hospital. I remember my good friends .
i didn't work much as a doctor, only the first two years, then i had to coordinate and manage a rural development project for loads of West Nile. This was a project drawn up with the people there,
and it was indeed about development. This meant you do not expect to see so many results in 3 years...it is a slow process. and it is politics...
i had learned much patience there and it came as the only way.
I also learned easily that each decision which appears right also contains wrong, good contains bad.
And now i cannot decide. all appears wrong. some decisions are not really a choice, and some can be the repeating of errors and mistakes. some just feel good and some don't and some..are so difficult that one is tempted to hide one's head in the sand.
it creates valleys, waterfalls, strong currents, soft lakes,
it joins us into the sea. and beyond, into the clouds, the rain, in all
and all is in all-in love.
giving freely in love , from one's heart is joy.
to be in a trap, bound to obligation, is not to give freely-
only when obligations and bonds are taken on by both, when there is a flow and communication,
when clearness can permit silence and allow free talking on problems.
yesterday i saw a film on the rivers of the Nile, the blue, the white, the ancient yellow one.
i remember the many hours i spent on Lake Victoria, on the Nile in an inflatable between Uganda and Sudan with thunderstorms and so many snakes, fishing around the Murchison Falls-and the sadness of dead animals along The Nile,killed in the civil war, thousands of maggots dripping into the water from dead Hippos.
Also i remember a narrow escape from hippos on Lake Edward, blown across with the sunset wind, engine finished, fishermen pulled us out with a traditional wooden boat, a tree trunk hollowed and formed with fire and much labour.
i also remember my older son's Malaria after and a hard drive along dangerous roads to a small hospital. I remember my good friends .
i didn't work much as a doctor, only the first two years, then i had to coordinate and manage a rural development project for loads of West Nile. This was a project drawn up with the people there,
and it was indeed about development. This meant you do not expect to see so many results in 3 years...it is a slow process. and it is politics...
i had learned much patience there and it came as the only way.
I also learned easily that each decision which appears right also contains wrong, good contains bad.
And now i cannot decide. all appears wrong. some decisions are not really a choice, and some can be the repeating of errors and mistakes. some just feel good and some don't and some..are so difficult that one is tempted to hide one's head in the sand.
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