Sunday, April 17, 2016
Muddy Waters - I Just Want To Make Love To You
:-)
--"i don't want you because i'm sad and blue"..:-)
--"i don't want you because i'm sad and blue"..:-)
love and me: in process/and words: in process
the only true way to write about love is authentic,
all else is an intellectual game, a religion, philosophy,
a set of rules, one of these guides on how to fill the social role
better and on how to manage the consumption of 'happiness'.
no, i have to write about the meaning for me.
a word which has another meaning for everybody.
in this case being in love with a woman and loving her.
to love is to listen, i learned this.
to remain perceptive AND vulnerable is the only true way
to be aware of another one's presence.
for me.
it is to learn, to change, to move across limits and patterns.
a loving relationship is to care.
this is meaningful and valuable by itself
and gives already joy.
love is to give space and to be close and present.
both.
for me.
a fulfilled relationship before the onset of agony
includes the body, touch, an integration of desire
and need, of "making" love and later closeness
in the warmth and care of loving integrated in the "being"
and meeting of soul and spirit .
there is no "matter" as being separate and opposed to "spirit".
a fulfilled realtionship includes the acceptance of imperfection of the other one
and the sharing of suffering as well as of joy.
to be present with the other one's suffering.
for me.
a relationship where only laughter and joy are permitted
and smiles and soft talk bridging gaps and clefts and dark holes
( by its nature, words, a work which cannot succeed) is -for me-
soft headed, far fetched, shallow, constructed,
not meaningful.
there are wounds in all of us, dark places, unexplored ,
AND there is still surprise and astonishment.
When tears cannot be shared too
and the pain of the soul must be shut away,
i don't want to be there.
i will retire into myself.
and will have a hard time to come out again.
and i don't care how "somebody" translates me,
but i care how i am "felt" by the one i love
without me needing to put on the mascara of wisdom.
i am happy enough as i am. mostly.
i can only share this and my honesty.
for today: enough. in writing: forever enough.
only two things remain important , for me:
doing and feeling in and out of the deep heart of me
and the widening of awareness and kindness.
and all this sounds already far and constructed in words,
the story of life evolving and unfolding is where truth shows,
captures and shows us wonder.
all else is an intellectual game, a religion, philosophy,
a set of rules, one of these guides on how to fill the social role
better and on how to manage the consumption of 'happiness'.
no, i have to write about the meaning for me.
a word which has another meaning for everybody.
in this case being in love with a woman and loving her.
to love is to listen, i learned this.
to remain perceptive AND vulnerable is the only true way
to be aware of another one's presence.
for me.
it is to learn, to change, to move across limits and patterns.
a loving relationship is to care.
this is meaningful and valuable by itself
and gives already joy.
love is to give space and to be close and present.
both.
for me.
a fulfilled relationship before the onset of agony
includes the body, touch, an integration of desire
and need, of "making" love and later closeness
in the warmth and care of loving integrated in the "being"
and meeting of soul and spirit .
there is no "matter" as being separate and opposed to "spirit".
a fulfilled realtionship includes the acceptance of imperfection of the other one
and the sharing of suffering as well as of joy.
to be present with the other one's suffering.
for me.
a relationship where only laughter and joy are permitted
and smiles and soft talk bridging gaps and clefts and dark holes
( by its nature, words, a work which cannot succeed) is -for me-
soft headed, far fetched, shallow, constructed,
not meaningful.
there are wounds in all of us, dark places, unexplored ,
AND there is still surprise and astonishment.
When tears cannot be shared too
and the pain of the soul must be shut away,
i don't want to be there.
i will retire into myself.
and will have a hard time to come out again.
and i don't care how "somebody" translates me,
but i care how i am "felt" by the one i love
without me needing to put on the mascara of wisdom.
i am happy enough as i am. mostly.
i can only share this and my honesty.
for today: enough. in writing: forever enough.
only two things remain important , for me:
doing and feeling in and out of the deep heart of me
and the widening of awareness and kindness.
and all this sounds already far and constructed in words,
the story of life evolving and unfolding is where truth shows,
captures and shows us wonder.
LOVE'S WORK, Gillian Rose, quoting
There is much more to this book than the parts i quote,
i enjoy all of the book - it is violently clear.
an exceptional human and an exceptional woman
with exceptional perception.
"Love-making is never simpy pleasure."....
"The sexual exchange will be as complicated as the relationship in general-even more so."...
"To spend the whole night with someone is agape: it is ethical. For you must move with him and with yourself from the arms of the one twin to the abyss of the other. This shared journey, unsure yet close, honesty embracing dishonesty, changes the relationsip. It may not be a marriage, but it will be sacramental even without benefit of sacrament. To navigate this together is to achieve the mundane: to be present to each other, both at the point of difficult ecstasy and at the point of abysmal infinity, brings you into the shared cares of the finite world."
.......
"The tradition is much kinder in its understanding that to live, to love, is to be failed, to forgive, to have failed, to be forgiven, for ever and ever. Keep your mind in hell, and despair not."
........
"To grow in love-ability is to accept the boundaries of oneself and others, while remaining vulnerable, woundable, around the bounds. Acknowledgement of conditionality is the only unconditionality of human love."
i enjoy all of the book - it is violently clear.
an exceptional human and an exceptional woman
with exceptional perception.
"Love-making is never simpy pleasure."....
"The sexual exchange will be as complicated as the relationship in general-even more so."...
"To spend the whole night with someone is agape: it is ethical. For you must move with him and with yourself from the arms of the one twin to the abyss of the other. This shared journey, unsure yet close, honesty embracing dishonesty, changes the relationsip. It may not be a marriage, but it will be sacramental even without benefit of sacrament. To navigate this together is to achieve the mundane: to be present to each other, both at the point of difficult ecstasy and at the point of abysmal infinity, brings you into the shared cares of the finite world."
.......
"The tradition is much kinder in its understanding that to live, to love, is to be failed, to forgive, to have failed, to be forgiven, for ever and ever. Keep your mind in hell, and despair not."
........
"To grow in love-ability is to accept the boundaries of oneself and others, while remaining vulnerable, woundable, around the bounds. Acknowledgement of conditionality is the only unconditionality of human love."
James Baldwin, quote
https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/04/13/james-baldwin-the-artists-struggle-for-integrity/?mc_cid=621080c06b&mc_eid=d4633eff0a
"Well, one survives that, no matter how… You survive this and in some terrible way, which I suppose no one can ever describe, you are compelled, you are corralled, you are bullwhipped into dealing with whatever it is that hurt you. And what is crucial here is that if it hurt you, that is not what’s important. Everybody’s hurt. What is important, what corrals you, what bullwhips you, what drives you, torments you, is that you must find some way of using this to connect you with everyone else alive. This is all you have to do it with. You must understand that your pain is trivial except insofar as you can use it to connect with other people’s pain; and insofar as you can do that with your pain, you can be released from it, and then hopefully it works the other way around too; insofar as I can tell you what it is to suffer, perhaps I can help you to suffer less."
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