illusion and thanks

thanks to a very special..person for the continued, repeated and final destruction of
illusion-
and i thank me for the insight that energy cannot be wasted.

i must remind me of the last two weeks....remember when the poison of hope and
the burden of faith should approach me ever again.

please, love, spare me, i cannot stand you.

at least love is not more dangerous than life, life always is.
let us live it.

i thank me for being prepared to die and for being ready to be reborn into each moment.
we are..all.. in one river. we are the river. we are God, so to speak, some say Buddha, i have no name.
no one is, we are together with all alive.

what remains is to breathe.
Conrad, i said today, don't forget to breathe, count, count, breathe, breathe
-and let the shit go...all all passes, we all pass.

i go talk to trees, to wind.
i am absolutely not able nor willing to have another relationship in my life,
this walk through two childhoods, this fighting, i need my integrity.

and my sleep, my forgetting...

breathe, count, be me.

Herbert Grönemeyer , Bochum (Official Music Video)

i  lived there, did my medical course there at university, the pre-clinical part,

then Essen. After..UK..etc

Crannóg 11 had to come out: help of friends

the wait for rain

waiting for rain

the heat is on

i look into green

all grown wild

jungle, grass and roses

it is so hot

i know rain can come

only with thunder,

with storm, lightning

will be messenger

of what i need, 

rain, water, cooling 

the earth is thirsty

the soil, the plants, 

i am dry

i stare and wait

for thunder

because i wait

for rain

and for the scent 

and silence after

stars in my garden, grace of gravity, beauty near death and grass winking