illusion and thanks

thanks to a very special..person for the continued, repeated and final destruction of
illusion-
and i thank me for the insight that energy cannot be wasted.

i must remind me of the last two weeks....remember when the poison of hope and
the burden of faith should approach me ever again.

please, love, spare me, i cannot stand you.

at least love is not more dangerous than life, life always is.
let us live it.

i thank me for being prepared to die and for being ready to be reborn into each moment.
we are..all.. in one river. we are the river. we are God, so to speak, some say Buddha, i have no name.
no one is, we are together with all alive.

what remains is to breathe.
Conrad, i said today, don't forget to breathe, count, count, breathe, breathe
-and let the shit go...all all passes, we all pass.

i go talk to trees, to wind.
i am absolutely not able nor willing to have another relationship in my life,
this walk through two childhoods, this fighting, i need my integrity.

and my sleep, my forgetting...

breathe, count, be me.