Tough Love - Simon's Cat

Eric Clapton - Let It Grow

Let It Grow

Standing at the crossroads, trying to read the signs
To tell me which way I should go to find the answer,
And all the time I know,
Plant your love and let it grow.

Let it grow, let it grow,
Let it blossom, let it flow.
In the sun, the rain, the snow,
Love is lovely, let it grow.

Looking for a reason to check out of my mind,
Trying hard to get a friend that I can count on,
But there's nothing left to show,
Plant your love and let it grow.

Let it grow, let it grow,
Let it blossom, let it flow.
In the sun, the rain, the snow,
Love is lovely, let it grow.

Time is getting shorter and there's much for you to do.
Only ask and you will get what you are needing,
The rest is up to you.
Plant your love and let it grow.

Let it grow, let it grow,
Let it blossom, let it flow.
In the sun, the rain, the snow,
Love is lovely, let it grow.

not all rivers reach the sea: evaporation may help

My Lord in Heaven
whose name i do not know
I feel like a river
running dry

I spill myself
across dry flatlands
a desert
which i can never satisfy

My Lord in Heaven
whose name i don't know
you made me run
towards the sea

Where i should find
all my relatives,
where i could lose
myself and rest

In the movement
of all, in my true
being, water.
but now i am on fire


My Lord in Heaven
whose name i don't know
let me rise as a cloud
and rain into your sea


My Lord in Heaven
whose name i don't know
me being but a man,
no woman can cradle

My longing in her arms,
my heart is poor and rich,
dry out my tears,
take me to your sea.

Jim Morrison, Dance on Fire

"Well the music is your special friend
Dance on fire as it intends
Music is your only friend
Until the end."

Lhasa De Sela - Where do you go

Where do you go
When your tides get low
In the summer dress
Of your drunkenness

I go far from here
Where the silence sleeps
In the very deeps
Of the holy blue

And I dream of you
And I dream of you
Dream of you
Dream of you

What do you say
When the rotted day
Is around your feet
In the noisy street

And your eyes fall rain
From pain from pain
I say never again
Never again
Never again

Why do you wander
So light though falling
In the underwater calling

I skate like a bird
Drunk on a word
Almost in love
If I only knew

But the best will drive
Through me and you
Me and you
Me and you

Marsen Jules & Anders Weberg - Endymion´s Sleep (Dronarivm 2014)

Neil Young - Will To Love

WILL TO LOVE

It has often been my dream
To live with one who wasn't there
Like an ocean fish who swam upstream
Through nets, by hooks, and hungry bears.

When the water grew less deep
My fins were aching from the strain
I'm swimming in my sleep
I know I can't go back again.

Got the will to love, the will to love.
I'll never lose it, never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like something from up above.

I can be like a fire in the night
Always warm and giving off light
But there comes a time when I shine too bright
Oh, I'm just a fire in the night.

And now my fins are in the air
And my belly's scraping on the rocks
I still think someone really cares
And I'll keep swimming till I stop.

Got the will to love, the will to love.
I'll never lose it, never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like something from up above.

I'm like a singer on the stage
With the golden lights and liquid rage
Down from the mountains to the sea
Cool running love keeps cleansing me.

It keeps my gills from getting dry
But it distorts things in my eyes
Sometimes I see what really isn't there
Like my true lover, and I care.

Got the will to love, the will to love.
I'll never lose it, never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like something from up above.

Sometimes I ramble on and on
And I repeat myself till all my friends are gone
And get lost in snow and drown in rain
And never feel the same again.

I remember the ocean from where I came
Just one of millions all the same
But somewhere someone calls my name
I'm a harpoon dodger, and I can't, won't be tamed.

Got the will to love, the will to love.
I'll never lose it, never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like something from up above.

Baby, if I see boredom in your eyes
I'll know my river has run dry
But I won't turn back with that lonely tide
I bought that ticket and I'll take that ride.

If we meet along the way
Please sway beside me, let us sway together
Our tails together and our fins and mind
We'll leave this water and let our scales shine
In the sun above and the sky below
So all the water and earth will know

It has often been my dream
To live with one who wasn't there.

death,sleep,benzos: a diary note

again i slept and slept.

not even two weeks ago i had 

a myocardial infarction.

in the hospital and after i took

Benzos, last bit two days ago.

last week i got out of hospital, 

still taking them

and staying with a wish for death

and subdued inner crying until 

yesterday morning throughout the days.

i know i would have preferred death to fear but i couldn't work it out in my days.

i walked around next to myself, and

all clear feeling had to make space for

a tiredness of life and a violent underground stream of suffering. 

i was locked in by Benzos.

i am astonished now.

i slept late afternoon yesterday for four

hours and then all night and now

i am awake first time since hospital.

in the meantime i provoked and experienced an immense personal loss.

still, i am here now with myself, coffee

and a new day.

sleep is a healer however

much they say it is related to death,

i will say it is a healer to life coming out of

it.

i slept: weird thoughts

i slept

how rare

watching a film

it was an action film.

maybe action

is boring.

as dull as thought

can be.

somebody said

nobody is there

to give another one happiness.

maybe.

not if it is a sacrifice

which cannot be given

in good heart.

nobody is there

to keep another one

unhappy.

and nobody is there

to look for suffering

and to stay in fear.

i say.

i know other ones

though who rather look 

to be hit

as they think they

will be hit anyway.

so they provoke

what they feel 

cannot be avoided

to happen now

and not to come

as another bad surprise.

it is these children

who expect to be beaten

whether they do right

or wrong.

so they lie

and they keep it on,

they will go

and say i have done wrong

and then they beat themselves.

the christian church tradition

is in fact so strong

that martyrdom can be preferred

to the joy of life.

why not see it?

we live in a culture of neglect

nursing fake persons,

sometimes i can see

that people are 

their own tamagotchi.

i look down from a window

into a busy streey at night:

what is running there:

a mass of colorful cellphones.

so: good night, my hollow friends.