night meditation,melancholy

(another night)

in this clear night
so many stars in this sky
many died a very long time ago

but their light reaches us,
voices of our ancestry-
we living ,we are so tiny

and inside so wide,
filled with  mystery,
related to all all beings

a night bird flutters
in the bushes, a sound
in this holy silence

you are me, tat tvam asi,
and i feel what i know,
nobody here is alone

and you, from far, fall into me
where i carry my sadness,
why can we not  cross borders

not unveil the webs
in which we are clothed
and sing from our essence

sing  to sleep and to wake
with grace and a smile
this smile of a child

astonished again each day,
when life is what it is:
a wonder

what else is love
but to recognize each other
and to find a child

i wished so much
you could bring a lightness
to my clumsy ways

and i'd have given
my warmth into your
so often tortured soul

now all melts together
and i feel all those
confined to prisons, camps

bomb shelters, hospitals,
to their flats in the cities.
in this time of a plague

none is alone,
we share this longing
for completeness, for healing

in this twisted world,
we sit with our demon
and with our beauty.

what then is liberty?
to open the window,
to change perception,

joy discovered inside
allowed to run free
like a horse in the fields

to let go
and to start again
in innocence

if love must be a word

if love must be a word
it should be long and slow and spoken right, a voice with a lilt, a melody touching us in our night. and if the virus must have a name it should be longer, much longer, with stones screaming in the mill of our mind to wake us.

why is love a four letter word

the dead are rising

with the blood in my ears,

staring at us, at me,

and their silence is terrible

i feel them , try to listen,

 breathing their molecules,

i know they ask through time

and space and spheres

the soul freezes in this 

the roll call of the unknown,

before birth, after death

all the wasted inbetweens

i cannot answer,

this music, rising now

from so bitter bitter roots,

beauty, all this strength

we are not alone, together

we swim in flow and in pause,

grace shall come, pray,

this shall be our task:

to mature

to spread a smile

across the earth

for all beings

to not look away,

to see each one as equal,

to forgive the demons

of our shared past

o to live like a tree

when only the ripe apple

falls to the ground-

i will be silent

being born

we will all die.

but, and.

forever and.

haiku

'haiku'      
the sparrows sleep now
in the bamboo holy night
frogs croak in the pond

mind-walker

maybe i am alone,

but you and all

breathe in me,

i taste the silence,

the murmur of stars and rivers, 

the anger of storms and winds,

the moments between birdsong, the wildness of forest fires,

the bitter buds of spring, 

the salt of this sea

and the richness of soil,

i maybe alone,

but my skin touches all,

all roots grow deep

through the echoes of time,

and to hold will be 

to let go.

Icarus

Icarus

longing for paradise

we rise, we fall,

i burned a thousand times

the desire for sky,

balancing gravity

we forget how fragile

we fly

all is here as it is,

to go to heaven

we need to carry the thorns

to accept the flame

is our only way out of hell,

see we are here

sun who melts our heart,

love who takes us,

we are the coming

and our coming is a going

wind

the wind tickling the clouds
opened blue
                
and through the storm i heard
the scream of abandoned memories
flying like clothes on a string

 and then there were birds

the rain falling

the rain falling 

softly like snow on snow

through the spaces of night

a fox barked in the village,

the sound of a bicycle,

bushes and birches whispered

listening i walked out of me, 

through the zero of language,

still, i long for your kiss

and then i was wind

today the crows  watched again,

gathered on another tree,

one black feather rode my mind

wrote old pain into my soul

but i blew and blew it away,

more buds greened out 

of the hedges lining the way,

three herons stood in the fields

like sticks, a couple of red kites

sailed in the sky, their shrieks

calling each other woke me

and i wanted to fly

i saw the traces of worms

in the sand and i met five cats

staring at me, elegant mistrust,

when i had passed the lake

i reached the forest, and all

filled with the song of birds

rising with a promise of spring,

i moved in this and in the light

freshening in this endless sky 

blue with white and  feathery clouds,

and then i was wind and spring,

i walked, a breath and a song

Weissensee: and this is not a poem

and this is not a poem
but frozen memories,
thawing inside,
blood and pride and joy

here the stones on life
exhaled, Jews of Berlin,
these shaped us, our minds,
talk to us from  graves

mixing with the  calls
from people starving,
mutilated, killed and burnt,
all asking: why

here where my father walked
in the confusion of his time,

here where i see him sad

and shaking his head 

here where i see his wounds

and i still ask why, with all

the others, tears come

and the silence answers

and this is not a poem

swans

it was the swans-

i hate them,

from the bridge

looking down,

my heart falling,

me, out of my chest,

and the sky, me,

falling on me

and to see the swans

swim their  circles,

them all in white,

this indifferent elegance

November poem

now the crows fly lower,
they call each other,
a sudden sound in the wind
and out of autumn silence

now the rain turns dense,
a liquid veil and dark
drops fall into the pond,
and rings of ripples spread around

for their own and given time,
reach stillness, it absorbs now all
and inside autumn meets itself.
all is crows and rain-

november

the stubble fields, bleak november,
the naked soil waits for snow,
i am sore and my skin is thin,
the cold  entered with fog

which veils these horizons,
there, frost in my knees
when i crawl to the trees
and i freeze in the shelter

the rotting leaves, the straw,
they talk and a few stones
nod and sing with the rain,
sleep, freeze, freeze, sleep


in the silence under snow
i stay contracted, frozen pain,
i am ice and bud and life,
i dream my birth, my spring.

river

The river where calm and wide
does  it ever feel lonely?
It cannot turn back to ask
the salmon and swans

for leaps and sparks and songs,
it must flow and flow alone,
wherever it reaches the banks,
when it touches the willows,

the river can never stay,
it has but the moment
before and now and after
all in one,

and once it reaches the sea
spreading out with release
it still flows and pushes behind,
here end and beginning melt

the crows call the night
the moon asleep in clouds,
morning bathes in light,
wind kisses shore and river

and all is rhythm and pause,
ripples in the water, a voice
calling dreams: we are
rain and river and sea

and beautiful

be like water-
no,
sometimes,
when i am
then i am.

i am water
i am fire
i am earth
i am wind

i live in all
and through these:
so do you-
because

listen, feel,
touch, smell,
you know
who you are

you breathe me.
the wind takes my skin
across oceans,
forest fire burns it
but i am alive

so are you
and i cannot be like water
because i am all of this-
and in all

with blood, heart,
bones and skin.
my voice and my silence
carry infinity.

i am the sky, the bird,
the leaves and the stem,
the spark and the flame,
the wave and the ocean

so are you.
you are the kiss and the fury,
the dam and the flood,
healer and poison,
the dark and the light.

you are dancing and still,
here and there,
alone and with all-
you are all.

you are dusk and dawn,
child and adult,
sadness and joy,
empty and full-
you are beautiful.

remember.
and remember
and
in good and in bad.

October 1st, 2019, Sneem

Chuva, chuva .. água, água ..

lavar o ser,

sem lagrimas

  

rain, rain, water, water,

you soak me, you wash me,

i close my eyes , i see

stillness, all clearing,

mud mud, new mud

settling on top of mud

i don’t care for ideas,

for extortion, love-words,

i move, i breathe, i work

i eat, i drink, i forget

no need for mirrors

they show only me

rain, rain, water, water,

you soak me, you wash me,

i close my eyes, i see

i listen to the wind,

my fire keeps warm,

what else should i need?

birth of her grandchild

now here you are.
you look puzzled.
shall i congratulate
or should i pity you?

i am puzzled too.
i welcome you
like sun and rain,
i hold you warm.

you are helpless,
this touches me,
a place i forgot.
with a shy smile

i look at you,
not yet a person,
how do i call you?
you do not know your name.

you came out of blood
and water, open your eyes,
child of soil and seed and sky,
made of stars and dogs and light,

out of the dark wild sea
timeless past condensing,
in this moment ,when you cry
and breathe and wonder

all must be turning, spinning,
earth and sound, days and nights,
o and all this sudden jump-
you'll be tired, child,

what shall i wish for you?
best nothing, i do not know
what will be best for you.
and now you must sleep

with heaven and voices
and murmurs of rivers
and scent and songs
moving your dreams


for now you are safe,
for now, you
sleep in love.
did i hear a sigh?

bardo, always in between

even between the owl
and the silence, even
between the waves
rising and falling

even between tears
and with long walks,
climbing, walking down,
always, and always between,

this thorn of missing,
missing you and me,
i took it with me,
living through bardo

between bark and soul,
dusk and dawn, between
stars and the scent of earth,
your presence, your absence

i tear papers and words,
i see a world in shreds,
scrape off my skin, scratch
my heart, in between,

i mutate into a stranger,
still am like a moth in light,
i carry the crown, the thorns,
i tried to carry yours

come and take me, life,
come and release me, death,
in between, i don't belong,
please take me home,

you. i hurt you
crying for you,
too much longing, too weak,
i fight windmills, me, you,
in between, bardo,
let me go

please, you, take me.
i am ready.
leave me, take me,
but bring more light,
let your doves fly


bardo is all illusion,.
nobody is dead,
all is mystery,
from where we come,
where we go

there are no names.
take my hand.
let us go.
out.

40000 kms, journey of the soul, II

lux, in nascendo,
in utero,
heaven coagulates,
fuses with the blood of earth,

pain and joy cry out,
a human born,
so much water,
so much thirst
and a bit of bones

the days go,
the nights come,
so much sleep
and dreams moving

with a small breath,
with stars and moon.
naked and helpless,
all grows and grows,

teeth come, teeth go,
the small one rises
and learns gravity,
crawls, walks, falls

and a day will come
to say no and another,
later, to say 'I',
but 'I' was never true

I is the second birth,
the birth of illusion,
formed out of reaction,
man's spaceship

which is only a toy,
it will break apart
ever so often,
again and again.

Let it break, little man,
see, there is light,
the light out of which
you have been born.

take your clothes off,
put your spaceship down,
dance naked, there is
nothing to take home.

lux, in nascendo,
in morte,
the blood of of the earth
dissolves in heaven

40 000 kms, journey of the soul, I

I)

I am
I am not
I breathe
i breathe in
I am

I breathe out
I am
I breathe out
I am

I breathe in
I am not
i breathe out
I am not

to breathe as if
counting daisies,
she loves me,
she loves me not,

to breathe a mantra,
to breathe in the door,
opening, closing,
all the same

it breathes
all breathes,
me breathes

when i goes
when I walks
me is in all
breathing breath,

living pause,
born with wings
and silence,
a wave, a wave
moving in this sea.

the cherry blossoms fall,
the wind takes them,
one by one, one by one,
why does I grieve