John Martyn, Patterns in the Rain

John Martyn,Patterns in the Rain

thought and non-thought

found behind Glendalough Hotel, Glendalough, Ireland 

i doesn't matter what i think on love.

Either i love or i don't.

Some say it is an art.

Whatever the concept or definition,

either i love or i don't.

And when i do i can touch it inside,

feel it, and it flows through all my being,

it touches and warms all me in all spheres

and it transforms  my life into more than being me,

it connects me to the richness of life,

its transmutations and flow, and not only to mine,

it  lets me care for another.

It will not necessarily make me 'better' 

but it allows me to reach out of what is called me with the rays of this love and follow them.

But it is not existing and alive in opposition to me,

and just to be out of reaction and to control emotions

is not love.

kindness from inside may  help to soften emotions.

and this in continuation often needs indeed a space in which softness is possible,

a loving inter-being,  an inner smile and smiles to meet.

it needs a calm place in which  questioning and assessing

another can be silent in unspoken periods of harmony

and  in a protecting garden.

But it is possible to have so much kindness inside

that when i stay detached i can soften emotions and reactions

without the surroundings giving me such softness.

this is called being adult, a matter of training the heart, 

resilience of the soul.

all what is constructed by us or by nature will die one day,

all what comes from inside may find regression

to old old hurts, we are by no way perfect beings.

but we can give each other our possibilities,

show them and beyond definitions of now

we can find and give grace.

love for an animal, a friend, a suffering person,

the often as if unbroken flow of love for our own children

are  the easier levels of loving. Not quite, when the children grow and are adult,

they 'expect' us to stay and give the same as if it was a matter

we have to do. And a circle of reaction starts and rules will be made

or they might  'eat' us.

love from me being a man for a woman will have

all the nuclear power of nature to cope with.

and when love and nature go different ways and find no way to

harmonize and go in synchronization,

either love or nature or both will turn sour like milk.

love may remain as memory and connection

or not.

all nature follows its own wisdom and nuclear powers of 

attraction and repulsion in each atom and molecule,

and it creates the most complex patterns and dances out of the most simple and basic 

forms. It shows unending richness as well as it is always in change between life and death,

each very moment-only it knows no moments nor time,

it is alive and working by the forces between earth and sky.

It is joy and non-joy we call suffering for us, and it happens without our intervention just the same.

nature is not a meaning, it is nature, and love is not a meaning, it is love.

There is no such philosophy which can teach me that love happens outside nature

as an idea leading to an ideal world.

all what we do must work through nature and follows the laws of karma.

this does not mean to say that nature is ideal or perfect,

but it is through which we live and die.

to valuate nature or love, both is irrelevant.

it is mere thought.

and nothing is more boring.

I woke up here, in Wexford, on a camping site near the sea,

because the storm swaying my camper van stopped.