Vila Nova de Gaia,Porto:a slow day

Diário de serenidade

it doesn't matter what i do as long as i don't want to do something.

i could sleep now...

Cuidado: buying no trousers

i tried to buy trousers here in  El Corte Inglés. 

no. minimum length all 34, i don't like to walk on but in them. need 32.

orange juice, stopped thinking, no plans now.

i see various people walking across.

fat women carrying their belly proudly in front of them, walking upright with a smile. i see a slim one, bent over, no strength left, her head wobbling towards her chest with each step. i see men with a gait as if they would use nappies, tight arsed and vane. 

i notice i am still very tired.

so, i have written enough.

next to me a portuguese chat between friends, coffees on the table.

it is still relaxing to understand only few singled out words. no stories. i am resting.

a certain dis-orientation

there is

no

i hear

yes

a call

a cry

a siren

a sigh

a song

a melody

foxes, crows,

meteorites,

shooting stars,

owls, echoes

of cuckoos

and rainbows

i listen

i do not know

what it is

where it starts

where it ends

no, not noise

it goes with silence,

grows out of suffering

and out of joy,

flows into the night

and meets me

when i wake

to the mornings

deep and disturbing,

the imminence of

birth and death

i walk out

ready to be slaughtered

together with others,

animals, cauliflowers,

humans

and each day

i am astonished

to be alive

and not so sure

what it may mean