i took my mother out

i took my mother
out in the car
into the october
sun slowly fading
into mist from the fields

88 and  courage,
so brave and still curious.
this effort to get in
and to get out,
i helped her with the seat belt.

i realize
how much hope it needs
to want to live another day
at an age
when a week means a year

and i admire her
for her effort
to make each day count.
and even this shy and stingy smile
left for her own eyes, she thinks,
she always thought.

even this stubborn neck and chin,
glowing with the inncocence
of a lost child fighting
for life
i admire it all

but i will not talk about it.
she will think i'm crazy.
of course, i am.
it makes me humble
to see such an unhappy
woman able to experience joy.

i leave her at home
where she lives all for herself.
and i am glad to go.
but i do look back with wonder.