"Really"

i don't really understand:
this is what came to mind
but then, i wasn't in a mood to say.

what is "really",
anyway.
any way is real
or not,
because what is real?

so i'll be on a flight,
at the same time an approach,
of a kind,
all journey is like this

i don't understand "really",
so i am blind, maybe
because i can see.
it must be the sun

which makes my eyes
so heavily hooded,
my lids so heavy,
or it could be this beer.

ja, i will step off this plane
to drive a rental car
to an unkwown place,
i will do so with all grace

i will have left, tired,
lonely in this night,
maybe to walk
into a deepening of this:
being alone.

i will open
my mind, a window
my heart , a door.
i will open my eyes,
again.

and what will i see
and who will it be
this time?
i wonder.

in the cold ocean, barefoot
i will stand at night,
to smoke a joint
with the stars.

i am underground,
beneath the waves,
my sky still far.
it is good to
hear my cat purr.


now, now,
so deep,
i give myself
to sleep,


..well, i had a lot of paperwork
and i was tired,very tired...