she came through the void

today the crows fell on the snowfields to pick in the earth 
where the snow had started to melt away
and fog started to rise to hide it all inside



imagine to be in the  wrong dream, and it is not yours.
i am put up with impossible tasks which i didn't choose.
i love the king's daughter and i long for her kiss and arms.
i long for her as a woman, her warmth, kindness, tenderness.
my skins burns with longing.
i love her as she is.
She is far away and wants me to run all light like laughing sunbeams  and flow like the wind.
maybe she likes me to fill rooms with my voice and dance to her heart with my love.
i love her and i want her.
but she says my presence in the universe is quite enough and may be too much already.
she is a wonder, a surprise and astonishment.
i love her voice which is sometimes rough and nearly breaks, it is as if a crow calls me to sleep and the nightingales are already singing in the background.
i love her in many ways and i want her in many ways.
longing and desire may hide love at times and then i feel lost in dark spaces of my self.
she does not stretch out her hand but points, tells me to dig there, in black holes, lonely tunnels,like a mole, shows me to go all through these nights with no oars to row.
i cannot walk out of the laws of attraction and repulsion, i cannot fly out of gravity and still keep my balance. i am quite used to my heaviness by now.
i do not wish to live without longing, the warmth and softness of a woman, however hard headed and croooked she may be, after all, she is the king's daughter and a princess from far away stars and she came through the void and death to be here where i found her to be. so she must be as she is.
i am just a man in this world who wants this woman and nobody else.
my longing is a nutshell on an ocean to find home. my light is my home and my darkness is too, my life is my home and my death is too. she can be part of my home.
desire is in the sky, longing is here.
and love is.here and there.it is and it feels good and right.
i wish she wouldn't try so hard to make me develop as a non-physical being, i am not a beam from a faro though i can be. i am not mere spirit, i cannot drink so much. i'd rather turn into smoke and watch myself across the mountains, forests and lakes, gliding, dreaming, forever changing.
and still, all this is me.
and even though she may not see, it is her too.
meeting mirrors the essence of beings and a being between starts to form and transcend all
words said and deeds done, in good and in bad.
so, now, i breathe and i am and i love and i long. and i let it be.


PS: let us hope this being inbetween will not form into a monster but can also act 
as a transformer for light and life and strength to pass through