suicide note: but i think i will be too lazy

if i should ever
kill myself
it will be final
and nobody's fault
but mine.

no, this is not a poem.
but of course,
just as everybody else
i think about it,
i thought about it

it can happen,
i sit under a tree,
i cannot fire
two rounds,
one bullet is enough

i will not hear
the shot, nothing,
and even if,
it will be too late.
but usually i go

and take a coffee
or a glass of vodka,
maybe listen to music,
fall asleep,
too lazy to go out

in the end, i guess,
whenever depressed
suicide will be impossible
just due to adaptation
and to laziness


i guess, to be lazy
is a sign of intelligence,
another day will come,
we sleep, we walk a bit
and the weather changes

it is just some days
enough is enough.
but i know, still i know,
no, tomorrow will be
another kind of day


and in the end i shall die,
when i had enough, anyway.
until then enough is not enough,
and i still can see light
here, where i am, right here.

even now, at night,
in the darkness of uncertainty,
in the turmoil of desire,
in the wars between all of us,
i can still see this light.

it must be enough.
this must be enough.
until.

i share as i know i am not so much alone