my heart is a dragonfly

my heart is a dragonfly

wings dancing across the water.

i am full with joy when i move.

when i rest

it is for the shortest moment

on the swaying tip of a reed.

my heart does not know

where i am nor where i go

my heart is full with death

and wild loneliness

through black dense night.

i do not know who i am

nor who i will be.

my heart is full with pain

and frozen tears.

i do not know a path, 

i am here and there.

my heart is full with silent screams

in the prison of my bed

and in my suffocated need.

the light is cruel,

it burns my soul.

my heart is a dragonfly

hovering in my mind.

i cannot be near,

i cannot be far.

i drown in the pond

when i touch down,

i forget to fly

when i think.

my heart is a dragonfly,

it only knows to live and to die.

no talk,

no silence,

no non-acting

will cure my soul.

here is no space to fly

but noise in my brain,

humming of words

and pain and wings.

i must, i think,

must fly alone.

is it sad?

is freedom sad?