water is hard when you hit it

no no, for sure i am not water.
i am most times like fire, i burn and
it will happen, for sure it will happen,
that only ashes can be seen.
it doesn't matter who i am.
i have no need to define.
i am.
and i am me again, doing what i want,
being who i want to be, flowing and burning
as i must, hurting as it happens, laughing for nothing
anybody else can understand,
and i cannot be somebody else. i feel i am.
not more,not less.
'you' can join me or not,
dreams and being in love were always delusion,
dream is re-creation, love is to do not to feel.
delusion is the way, creation is the way, love is the way,
and i am the way. for me.

communication is the death of words, it happens outside.

maybe i will see seeds greening out of all i did, maybe not.
i don't sell the product.

and i have no interest now in my own deep desire
and longing as it has lead me away from myself
but not to 'you' who has no name and for whom i have no name.
falling into thin air, fighting for breath is understandable.
one step forward, two steps back: a circle of frustration,
i don't want to live in it.
keep your self, the one you defend with your past,
keep your death, it is yours. i will not take it away.
i am not interested in mine:
i just wish to be as i am now,
in this being fully aware of the evanescence of form, context,
body and consciousness.

do not try to ask change of me. i go my way.
do not expect change seeing your way.

fire is not interested in what it cannot eat,
water goes round obstacles and finds its way,
wind will lift and carry only what it can.
and all of us are rooted in earth,
must follow the cycles of nature.

no no, i am not following reason.
reason is the man in the bank
counting out money, doing the accounts and balances.
but there is nothing to buy or to sell
nor are there debts to pay.
all houses are built on sand,
and reason will not give happiness.
how can i be sad when i see?

no no, maybe i have not given up,
but how do i know without surprise?
i am as 'you' are.
it means nothing
but it can mean all.
this is the vagueness of being.
i can be ok here.
call my name or swim in the ocean.
it is where i am.


it is true, being in love gives a fresh scent
to perception, makes life richer, opens eyes
and ears and mind:
it remains an experience of wonder.
to feel to be alone in it takes the joy out.
why, then?
a risk is not always a risk chosen.
life happens.
and nothing is nothing,
nothing means nothing.
nothing does truly not exist.

I am.
call my name or not.