on solitude and arrogance

a history of a life with a strong sharp and questioning singular intellect makes lonely and for sure does not allow to conform with general concepts and convention. even when we smile outwardly we know we are at root outcasts. 

often we don't talk as we had too often the experience to be misunderstood.

this feeling of singularity makes easily arrogant and certainly unhappy.

also it makes us opinionated too

much when we form and grow mainly inside and not in relation to the space

in between humans and life-when we do not expose us fearing violation of what appears holy to us in our confinement.

being quite consciously  unhappy can

drive us into sleeplessness, drugs, more thinking and an obstinate attitude from where we see loneliness as choice and from where we may even despise persons who can see their life differently.

in a next step we go into meditation with all the danger of feeling so singular again with our self, we may fall for trying to improve being 'better' humans with a 'higher' development and from there would already come back into the circles of ego propagating itself.

in the end maybe all comes down to opening to life and to the present moment

without fear and opinions.

easily said.

more easily again done in solitude.

being a human i need solitude as much as togetherness.

and i wish to feel well in both.

there are contexts for me feeling well

with another and so much more with a woman i love. they are there for everybody. and they are complex and simple at the same time.

for now i open my arms and my heart.

may they stay open: i don't know.

welcome to the club.