bardo, yes, cage no: today the bitterness of reflection

i may be very wrong.
maybe i am.
now i do not see you.
i see me.

by now i had felt caged
for too long,
bound where i wanted to flow,
i cannot go on.

i find evasion. evasion. evasion.
and i am tired.

i cannot be silent.

i must go away.

all is impermanent,
my mind changes like the weather.

but bardo is bardo.
i must accept my inconsistency
as there is no choice.

i am sad in my soul.
sad for loss, sad for hope,
sad for my freedom:
it feels like a shame.

i will light a candle
and watch the rising heat.

i go, i will go,
i am not made to stay.