in a way this way of using thought is annihilating the sense of thought
altogether. Nothing remains but a dead house, roofless, with blackened window sills
through which you may off and on see a fictional ghost,
a human being deconstructed of all meaning.
fine.
the jarring truth becomes finally boring.
the deconstruction of social and cultural implications is probably (my opinion)
a necessary art for the survival of intelligence and integrity,
it is a prerequisite for a smile on the importance of any imagined self or ego.
and this smile carried forth will help profoundly
with a meditation on inter-being and teach us just to be.
to be who we are now.
but it was an -ism, post-structuralism,
as such there was no smile but an undue earnestness
and a ferocious urge to be important.
we have to look through it, once we read,
to find our own smile.
questions may not need to deconstruct all life to ground zero:
there is no ground zero.
analysis does not find ground zero. it
will go without recognizing an end.it is the perfect perpetuum mobile.
once there would be ground zero, existentialism could take over to show the way
from zero to infinity: life with the presence of death.
only two options: to accept or to commit suicide at once.
again an -ism, people with thick glasses writing in cafés,
discussing so seriously being and nothingness.
should they not better have gone for a walk?
i always feel a bit sorry for some of them,
not for Camus though, not for him.
we are alive, and we are not alone:
everybody is alive and tries to live the best way she or he can.
but it is death which makes life so precious,
this is my view which i share with many other
persons, patients, me.
life in a body allowing perception (Merleau-Ponty),
life conscious and unconscious but real for us, real enough
when we meet the dentist or our love, life ridiculous and wasted
and rich and sad and beautiful and filled with too many words
and not enough jokes, life with pain, endurance, bitterness and joy,
life with resilience and ...soul.
now, again having read so much and with estrangement and frustration:
what is soul: i will not discuss the reality of water.
unfortunately stupidity is very resilient too.
or let us say sticky and malleable like chewing gum?
all -isms make you stupid, the blinder the more
you read, caught in a system and out of presence.
-isms are an excuse not to live, to hide out of
full presence, out of exposure and vulnerability,
to take back each kind word before it is said,
to prefer an apparently unavoidable fate
or a leisure period in a hamster wheel of thinking,
of memories, fatigue and melancholy
to questioning, breathing, to acting and to choice.
-isms are seductive, they relieve you of doubt
as they give you a system appearing true in itself,
and getting stuck inside an -ism
can lead to completely inadequate and even horrible deeds.
fearing mutilation through words and social reactions
cannot be a way to be alive, to live, to be, to talk to each other,
to write, to love. what is love: i will not discuss.
you cut the roses, the bush survives if you can see it now or not.
and rebellion, necessary as it is to push forward, is not leading
to maturity, to see oneself as singular, outside of all cultural backgrounds and
society is "enlightening" with a drug-like high....but not ...honest.
Could we be humble, just accepting all conditions as they are but seeing through
them and meet them with intelligence and the honesty of authentic response?
Including -isms...
I try, i try.
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