so-now-what?

one thing i used to be good at: forgetting.
let me see how good i can be this time.
memory is a devil..

but i don't want another myocardial infarction,
i decided i must forget more than i wished.

after all, what else is digestion than to let go
of  what is only in the way, ballast inside
creating tension and too much air?

and who would be busy remembering the texture
 and colour of his excrements after?
some, i know, they do, they keep a diary
for blood pressure, pulse, glucose, pee and shit
and what they ate and where and a notebook or a folder
with bills from daily shopping and they do accounts on all...
some even statistics...here i proudly present and so on.

i have nothing to proudly present.
even i cannot do so many things well.

sorry there may be someone else not so happy
with me trying to forget..but this time i take my space
and will be as egoistic as i can, it is necessary.

but i will try to keep some faith in life
and what it may bring to me.
more is not possible anymore.

good night, Conrad...

said and another front of the thunderstorm coming with
lightning allover the sky and thunder...
as said..the devil comes always in disguise, but he comes...