tired

on my bed i shrug

my shoulders, lift my

hand and let it fall,

today so tired

i don't understand

life, me, you, only

know i must let

all happen, 

i lift my hand,

i let it fall,

i care, feel warmth,

i flow, am here

but still i wish

to drop out

of the stream

which takes me

into the known

and the unknown,

no way to interfere

with its currents

so i just float and

struggle to swim

not to drown

but be carried

it is inside

but its source

is unknown, 

mystery of birth.

maybe  i die

like this, at the edge,

alone, thrown ashore

or i will be swallowed

by the endless sea

where all meaning

and all words, all deeds

will be like nothing

unseen under the

shimmering horizon,

the wide waters,

erased by death after death.

i shrug my shoulders,

my eyes are heavy,

i don't want to love

but i do.

i asked for release

but i should ask me.

who am i-

and why?

i lift my hand,

i let it fall,

i cannot point

to where i go