my heart is heavy,
it stutters at night.
the moon not yet full
pulls my soul to rise
into mysterious tides,
into dreams of riddles.
i was happy at the river
laughing with the dogs.
now i turn clear and dark,
the wind has ceased,
grief follows all illusion,
i have folded my wings.
there was nothing i want
but peace and sleep
and you to hold me
near to your breath.
forever. i postponed
me day after day
and night after night
for years, out, too far out.
remembering prophecies
i listen to my cat eating,
wondering what you feel,
i knew that i cannot talk.
when truth refers to the past
there is no way to go,
and listening will be hard
and lead nowhere. i forget.
though we must live with
what is broken, we may find
release. my faith is more
in death than in love, now.
until then i walk and try
to be aware of a flow
of joy and laughter and
of all the sadness i meet.
i will leave nothing out,
neither the trees nor the sun,
not the suffering, the pain,
nor the music and the pauses.
sela.
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