Saturday, June 29, 2019
Eurythmics , Here Comes The Rain Again
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
Oh
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
Oh
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here is comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here is comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
Sunday, June 23, 2019
Friday, June 14, 2019
Thursday, June 13, 2019
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
a place i do not yet know
if a poem must be true
i say equanimity,
under i carry, inside,
doubt, restless energy
if i must be true
i smoke too much,
sleep too late
when i am blue
i do not look down,
i walk the tight rope
between hope and hope
when i put on my shoe
i know i made a step
before, i will follow
in its wake
if a poem can be true
i say the sound of rain
brings sweetness
and if this is true
i say a bird will call
me to a place
i do not yet know.
i say equanimity,
under i carry, inside,
doubt, restless energy
if i must be true
i smoke too much,
sleep too late
when i am blue
i do not look down,
i walk the tight rope
between hope and hope
when i put on my shoe
i know i made a step
before, i will follow
in its wake
if a poem can be true
i say the sound of rain
brings sweetness
and if this is true
i say a bird will call
me to a place
i do not yet know.
Monday, June 10, 2019
on understanding: a note to me
there are words in English i find bare of true feeling,
unemotional, puritan or at least poor.
These are for example often words i read in buddhist articles...
kindness....this word does not exist in German, we have "Freundlichkeit " meaning to be nice and pleasant and a bit more to another,. There is "Höflichkeit "which is politeness and doesn't mean much
but socially compatible behavior, both are often behaviours used for an aim or to fill an expectation.
and we have words like "Güte" (originating from to be 'good' maybe) and more Herzensgüte and "Warmherzigkeit "which means to feel and act out of pure heart towards another, flowing and giving
one self, attention, presence.
It means to care without even one thought of self. one could call it grace of heart.
"Warmherzigkeit" means to embrace another with the warmth of ones heart, to not just accept but welcome the other always first presuming the best in the other.
This stress on acceptance, another word out of buddhist practice articles, tells me nothing i need, it is not a matter of the heart, rather a philosophy
for navigating between the unavoidable and the possible. It is ok but not enough.
It also means to leave the other freedom to be, but it is a cold word.
We use it in German too, after all the Romans were everywhere.
We can also say :"Sein lassen" which means to let be.
This can also mean to let be alone.
Acceptance without grace, warmth, forgiveness may be a necessary tool but it has no such value as
one often attributes to it. true forgiveness again comes from the heart.
To 'just' accept one needs more awareness, control and first of all reflection than heart , courage, open vulnerability as in embrace. but it is often necessary work and in the end may lead to other qualities.
because: for accepting one has to see ones own shortcomings and imperfection.
compassion is a composite word and means suffering with another, by root of the word.
i cannot see this as a religious or moral requirement. each on suffers..
to truly see and feel another's suffering and to open ones heart belongs to "Herzensgüte" and asks us to help, to act. The co-suffering alone, the feeling itself, appears to me irrelevant and may even be a trap. Christians like suffering too much, it makes them feel special and Jesus-like, no?
In translation we have 'Mitlieid" which is more associated with pity, pity is at its best useless and can be an insult.
mercy is when you don't kill your enemy.
grace and embrace is coming from inside or untrue.
English is often an emotionally poor language though i love its simplicity.
i prefer it in many ways to my own language which is often so bureaucratic, makes violently one word out of three or four in a row, complicates all in headstrong way.
So i am all for simple words-
just, a lot of English words need loads of context and very often only gain proper meaning
in intonation, presence and acts.
this all is not an accusation of languages, buddhism, just shows how complex and difficult communication can be. very often it is really ...an illusion.
unemotional, puritan or at least poor.
These are for example often words i read in buddhist articles...
kindness....this word does not exist in German, we have "Freundlichkeit " meaning to be nice and pleasant and a bit more to another,. There is "Höflichkeit "which is politeness and doesn't mean much
but socially compatible behavior, both are often behaviours used for an aim or to fill an expectation.
and we have words like "Güte" (originating from to be 'good' maybe) and more Herzensgüte and "Warmherzigkeit "which means to feel and act out of pure heart towards another, flowing and giving
one self, attention, presence.
It means to care without even one thought of self. one could call it grace of heart.
"Warmherzigkeit" means to embrace another with the warmth of ones heart, to not just accept but welcome the other always first presuming the best in the other.
This stress on acceptance, another word out of buddhist practice articles, tells me nothing i need, it is not a matter of the heart, rather a philosophy
for navigating between the unavoidable and the possible. It is ok but not enough.
It also means to leave the other freedom to be, but it is a cold word.
We use it in German too, after all the Romans were everywhere.
We can also say :"Sein lassen" which means to let be.
This can also mean to let be alone.
Acceptance without grace, warmth, forgiveness may be a necessary tool but it has no such value as
one often attributes to it. true forgiveness again comes from the heart.
To 'just' accept one needs more awareness, control and first of all reflection than heart , courage, open vulnerability as in embrace. but it is often necessary work and in the end may lead to other qualities.
because: for accepting one has to see ones own shortcomings and imperfection.
compassion is a composite word and means suffering with another, by root of the word.
i cannot see this as a religious or moral requirement. each on suffers..
to truly see and feel another's suffering and to open ones heart belongs to "Herzensgüte" and asks us to help, to act. The co-suffering alone, the feeling itself, appears to me irrelevant and may even be a trap. Christians like suffering too much, it makes them feel special and Jesus-like, no?
In translation we have 'Mitlieid" which is more associated with pity, pity is at its best useless and can be an insult.
mercy is when you don't kill your enemy.
grace and embrace is coming from inside or untrue.
English is often an emotionally poor language though i love its simplicity.
i prefer it in many ways to my own language which is often so bureaucratic, makes violently one word out of three or four in a row, complicates all in headstrong way.
So i am all for simple words-
just, a lot of English words need loads of context and very often only gain proper meaning
in intonation, presence and acts.
this all is not an accusation of languages, buddhism, just shows how complex and difficult communication can be. very often it is really ...an illusion.
though all is one: not all is the same
oneness and uniqueness,
in one breath,
i have terrible problems to communicate
with a human who has been important to me
and is.
Saturday, June 8, 2019
e.e.cummings, i carry your heart
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Ocean Vuong, reading, poem, interview
from : Ocean Vuong, Someday I'll love Ocean Vuong
'& remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world. Here’s
the room with everyone in it.
Your dead friends passing
through you like wind
through a wind chime.'
Someday i'll love Ocean Vuong
with him reading
Ocean Vuong, interview
'& remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world. Here’s
the room with everyone in it.
Your dead friends passing
through you like wind
through a wind chime.'
Someday i'll love Ocean Vuong
with him reading
Ocean Vuong, interview
Thursday, June 6, 2019
Sarah Kay , The Type
"It is hard to stop loving the ocean even though it has left you gasping, salty"
Lilith , Adam, Eve
L-ili-th, l-ust, l-ove, l-ife...
brea-th
Lilith, not a demon but first real woman ..not a copy, not a slave
brea-th
Lilith, not a demon but first real woman ..not a copy, not a slave
Wednesday, June 5, 2019
blood, body, guilt
found this note written a few months ago..
so, i share:
as i find it hard to fall asleep, out of rhythm for the last days, a long journey and changes in my life ,
it hit me again.
how deeep must it embed and cut in a child's soul , the rites of the christian church, eating the body of Christ and drinking his blood, being taught that guilt and sin comes with being born, innocence totally distorted by perversion, what a horrible prison this must make , what a confusion, how dirty and helpless one must feel as child. if there was not mercy and grace with the figure of Mary in the catholic church, how cruel.
even it does not go along the New Testament at all, Jesus
is attributed to have clearly said that all old sin is washed away, go and love each other.
i am glad i never believed in this cannibalistic ritual, i shuddered how many of my schoolmates ingested it. i would have liked to experience a symbolic spiritual sharing but could not, turned off by senseless cruelty, and the priest got very angry with me that i could not ‚believe'.
i told him -as a child!-that to stress torture and suffering and sacrifice is a means of domination, and that i may sin but not in this.
sin was, is and remains for me to harm me or another on purpose, to act against better knowledge. there is no other sin. and nobody can stay completely free of this kind of sin: but be aware and try to cause the least possible damage.
more i don't know.
in my protestant church which i left before i ever had seen me as part, each moment you are called for repentance and you hear an endless complaint on the badness of this world where you walk in a dark valley and that real life comes only after death. another kind of continuous punishment for being alive. Again, this view cannot be gained by reading the New Testament, not at all.
so, i share:
as i find it hard to fall asleep, out of rhythm for the last days, a long journey and changes in my life ,
it hit me again.
how deeep must it embed and cut in a child's soul , the rites of the christian church, eating the body of Christ and drinking his blood, being taught that guilt and sin comes with being born, innocence totally distorted by perversion, what a horrible prison this must make , what a confusion, how dirty and helpless one must feel as child. if there was not mercy and grace with the figure of Mary in the catholic church, how cruel.
even it does not go along the New Testament at all, Jesus
is attributed to have clearly said that all old sin is washed away, go and love each other.
i am glad i never believed in this cannibalistic ritual, i shuddered how many of my schoolmates ingested it. i would have liked to experience a symbolic spiritual sharing but could not, turned off by senseless cruelty, and the priest got very angry with me that i could not ‚believe'.
i told him -as a child!-that to stress torture and suffering and sacrifice is a means of domination, and that i may sin but not in this.
sin was, is and remains for me to harm me or another on purpose, to act against better knowledge. there is no other sin. and nobody can stay completely free of this kind of sin: but be aware and try to cause the least possible damage.
more i don't know.
in my protestant church which i left before i ever had seen me as part, each moment you are called for repentance and you hear an endless complaint on the badness of this world where you walk in a dark valley and that real life comes only after death. another kind of continuous punishment for being alive. Again, this view cannot be gained by reading the New Testament, not at all.
fields out of ‘God’
is ‚god‘ the pond,
the stone,
the rings widening:
question of fools.
all this is presence
flowing out and in
is ‚God‘ the dance of the bees, the scent of this flower, the birds in the sky?
is ‚God‘ the murmur of a river, the voice of a child, a melody sung?
is ‚God‘ an old man smiling, a child weeping, a woman giving birth?
is ‚God‘ with the dying,
in mourning and wailing,
in the graveyards?
is ‚God‘ in the killing
fields of humans and animals, in agony, in torture?
is ‚God‘ before or after
or in life or is all in ‚God‘?
does ‚God‘ take absences?
do i need to know?
can i know what i do not understand?
the answer is yes.
the stone,
the rings widening:
question of fools.
all this is presence
flowing out and in
is ‚God‘ the dance of the bees, the scent of this flower, the birds in the sky?
is ‚God‘ the murmur of a river, the voice of a child, a melody sung?
is ‚God‘ an old man smiling, a child weeping, a woman giving birth?
is ‚God‘ with the dying,
in mourning and wailing,
in the graveyards?
is ‚God‘ in the killing
fields of humans and animals, in agony, in torture?
is ‚God‘ before or after
or in life or is all in ‚God‘?
does ‚God‘ take absences?
do i need to know?
can i know what i do not understand?
the answer is yes.
basic and simple
i found a simple truth.
somebody named it basic.
basic is not primitive,
simple can be difficult,
very very difficult.
how will confused humans stay simple?
how confused must one be to use basic
as a swearword.
salt and water are basic,
how should we live without?
air is basic, my body is basic,
basic is not up for sale to ideas.
special means nothing at all to me.
and different still includes basic
which make us all relatives.
i feel strongly that we must
accept basics, us, our body, breathing,
walking, pain, happiness,
our inter-dependency and our
source which does not belong to us,
the source from which all life and death
and joy and desire and music comes
through us and others to be in each moment.
and for myself i know what i feel as true,
each one has a story, a history, words, this is richness.
what obstructs the experience of presence , so to speak of the presence of 'God' is to have complex images, ideology, scientific models and analytic systems, methods, definitions and religions , beliefs, opinions, loads of terminology first:
kill your thoughts, destroy your education, let go control, forget your memories as much as you can,
leave father, mother, kill Buddha. Don't aim , just shoot. Follow your own flow.
When you dance dance.When you chop firewood chop firewood. When you cry cry.When you are angry, be angry. This is to be.
Leave all what obstructs you, what disturbs your flow.
You will do this anyway, sooner or later.
This is my basics:
1)
Pain and suffering are not the same.
2)
Nobody else is responsible for my happiness.
This does not mean that sharing happiness
is not important nor that one must stay alone,
and the other does not mean that we will be free
of suffering.
i do not teach salvation nor freedom of
incarnation.
i do not teach sacrifice.
each one has a right for his or her own way.
Each one can always say no.
and first i teach me what i find to be true.
I am not interested to make my own findings
a measure for other persons as this should look deeply wrong
to me.
i cannot see that i am a monad, no-thing is.
kindness can not be learned,
it is only true when simple.
And humility and wisdom can only grow
when basics are accepted as part of us ourselves.
love is a word., first of all, a word.
i love good food.
good night to me my self.
somebody named it basic.
basic is not primitive,
simple can be difficult,
very very difficult.
how will confused humans stay simple?
how confused must one be to use basic
as a swearword.
salt and water are basic,
how should we live without?
air is basic, my body is basic,
basic is not up for sale to ideas.
special means nothing at all to me.
and different still includes basic
which make us all relatives.
i feel strongly that we must
accept basics, us, our body, breathing,
walking, pain, happiness,
our inter-dependency and our
source which does not belong to us,
the source from which all life and death
and joy and desire and music comes
through us and others to be in each moment.
and for myself i know what i feel as true,
each one has a story, a history, words, this is richness.
what obstructs the experience of presence , so to speak of the presence of 'God' is to have complex images, ideology, scientific models and analytic systems, methods, definitions and religions , beliefs, opinions, loads of terminology first:
kill your thoughts, destroy your education, let go control, forget your memories as much as you can,
leave father, mother, kill Buddha. Don't aim , just shoot. Follow your own flow.
When you dance dance.When you chop firewood chop firewood. When you cry cry.When you are angry, be angry. This is to be.
Leave all what obstructs you, what disturbs your flow.
You will do this anyway, sooner or later.
This is my basics:
1)
Pain and suffering are not the same.
2)
Nobody else is responsible for my happiness.
This does not mean that sharing happiness
is not important nor that one must stay alone,
and the other does not mean that we will be free
of suffering.
i do not teach salvation nor freedom of
incarnation.
i do not teach sacrifice.
each one has a right for his or her own way.
Each one can always say no.
and first i teach me what i find to be true.
I am not interested to make my own findings
a measure for other persons as this should look deeply wrong
to me.
i cannot see that i am a monad, no-thing is.
kindness can not be learned,
it is only true when simple.
And humility and wisdom can only grow
when basics are accepted as part of us ourselves.
love is a word., first of all, a word.
i love good food.
good night to me my self.
flow-er
this has been a bud,
closed and vulnerable,
not hiding, not thinking, not careful,
alive out of the one breath,
growing through metamorphosis,
Eros unveiling itself,
emanation of the one,
maturing:
now open and vulnerable,
near death , alive, pouring out seed,
soon.
Tuesday, June 4, 2019
Sunday, June 2, 2019
the re-volving door
life and death, breathing in, breathing out, creation, birth, lust and pain,
joy and sadness, vulva or flower, all is change,
all happens through eros, all is one breath:
we are being breathed, this is the secret.
we 'do' not breathe and our breath is never alone....
bright sun
eaten by patience
killed by hope
molten by desire
furious, fiery,
liquefied through love,
drop for drop given,
bleeding out
the flesh wasted,
skin cracking,
the heart beats
and i breathe
even dragons and
demons and kind
pilgrims sleep,
there will never be
peace
when forgetting
is not allowed
through the doors
of the mind
the death of consciousness is
the root of life,
a door to innocence
into space for the soul
to forget is grace
for the living,
for the dying
today
nothing to say,
the sun is too bright
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)