diary note

i don't believe anymore that persons will change habits, at least not basic patterns.
also nothing will influence to whom they are attracted, this has roots in childhood and ,yes, in
karmic past and presence.
people are alive, so they react all the time, reaction is the chemistry of life.
only in meditation and un-selfing they can come out: for a while..
they learn but they do not change much.They may imagine they made choices:
mostly not, they survived by reaction, a lot of choices was only
what had been remaining to survive.
but of course we narrate this to our self another way..


yes, i miss touching my soul and embrace, i miss the un-selfing in intimacy,  silent trust, a companion in joy and sadness sharing openly, a warm heart next to mine,

-but after all there is solitude which fills me with music
and my relative, nature, to always receive me.

giving is flow and i fear to reach  limits -when i think.

i am robbed of all faith in others to join me in love, may this can change
because it is not part of my patterns.

for some time now there is only wind blowing, and it blows all dust away.

well, that's it. i only talk to this wind.