Abdication from desire

when the soul flies
in sleep, it goes to
touch the butterflies,
plays hide and seek

with grasshoppers
and sparrows, it grows
with the scent of flowers,
never leaves my skin

which stirs through the night,
always breathes with me
this graceful pilgrim, this
bird made of dream and love,

so easily frightened by
visions, monsters  and  pain,
soul so much alive, awake.
i must get up and give

shelter and tenderness
to this small hungry bird,
i will give it water and hope
so it will not die at day.

all these souls, i see them
at night hovering on crosses
and roses and lakes,
on chimneys, on cars.

they gather together, seek
protection, they know too
too well the danger of light,
of human reason and deeds.

they all long for a home,
for warmth, but though
they know each other they
cannot melt in sweetness.

and so i abdicate from desire,
from politeness, from lies,
opinions, from philosophy,
just please let me kindly go.

home.

Jorge Luis Borges, Labyrinths, A New Refutation of Time

"Once matter and spirit — which are continuities — are negated, once space too is negated, I do not know with what right we retain that continuity which is time. Outside each perception (real or conjectural) matter does not exist; outside each mental state spirit does not exist; neither does time exist outside the present moment."
...
"The vociferous catastrophes of a general order — fires, wars, epidemics — are one single pain, illusorily multiplied in many mirrors."
....
"And yet, and yet… Denying temporal succession, denying the self, denying the astronomical universe, are apparent desperations and secret consolations. Our destiny … is not frightful by being unreal; it is frightful because it is irreversible and iron-clad. Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, unfortunately, is real; I, unfortunately, am Borges."


note:
this is a wonderful book, brilliant.i devoured it, many months ago, one could say it like this.

and  i deeply feel this as truth. there is nothing 'absolute', all is as real as it is unreal, and indeed i am time and time is an individual experience different for each being on earth and a different experience from moment to moment, constricting, pausing, expanding... what we all have in common is that our time in this life will end with death. this is what makes time blood and  breath and 'at times' nearly too real...when we give time for another being we give blood and breath.

we can say 'unfortunately' as Borges does, it is a matter of attitude and grace.
as for me, i'd say these days easily 'unfortunately'...maybe it will change, maybe i will, maybe my experience of my time will.

i must go into silence and stretch out inside.
let all go, remove all what blocks my flow and all what is not necessary.
necessary is a simple word but quite complicated when you start to think and feel on it as  'essential'. 

there is no surgical removal of 'I' but death. and though ego is illusion i cannot live without  me and bearing this apparent contradiction is difficult, it is much better
to live with poles of ego and non-ego-and it is possible to see this way.
and with this perspective we can view universal patterns and flow and enter
and leave other beings' times, stay as companions or separate.

observing the flight of birds....it tells me all i need to know on instinct
and on flow. they fly because they fly.

William Basinski , Silent Night

Genesis, Follow You Follow Me (Official Music Video)

...a bit much..