remarks: concept of birth and death

i am not myself partularly concerned about birthdays.

i have a birthday each day, even when i don't notice,
but i try to experience this conscientiously.

there is no ground on which to walk for my soul,
there is no fixed path for my spirit to follow,
there is only a thin lifeline for my body to stay on this earth.
i am perishable as we all are.
i am hurt as we all are.
i was born naked, and i will die naked and i do love naked.

i have no plans. i repeat, i have no plans.

i am in confusion and clear at the same time, i feel lost, i feel and felt all this most days of my life.

i spend so much energy and myself all day, and coming home i need to go to my inner source,
using my own methods of  leaving, coming and being:
i see my dreams as dreams, my wishes as wishes, my fears as fears, my anger as anger and my irritation as irritation. i do not try to destroy these: i just let them be. and i let myself be.

when i cannot manage easily enough, i use writing.
i use it to put outward what is inside, then i let go.
a lonely communication with myself.

it is to die and to be born day for day.
it is called life.

and some days it would be so much easier to deal with this just with a smile and a hand to hold,
and some days it wouldn't be enough.
i know.

the joy of life, so precious.
laughter.
light.
sharing.
all.

you know.