loving a dog or a horse : easy to say.
even this in the end sometimes may be hard to do.
to love "you": i cannot say it anymore.
it felt so simple and easy and true to say.
by now the word is corrupted,
my intention, flow and way are gone
in a strange land of interpretation, translation,
perversion, nearly shredded.
but i am here.
and maybe i do but really cannot say.
love.
still, one day i may have to go another way.
away.
i have no 'name' for '"you"'.
you have no 'name' for "me".
in no Man's land i am just me, alone.
call me, call my name, i may come.
i never understood why it can be not simple and easy.
are 'you' more a relative than a friend,
and i cannot just open my arms for "our" joy?
relatives can grow a burden,
and they tend to mix up with our life,
keep us occupied-
and see us in continuous translation.
i have grown older and old, occupied,
more tired, soon i will grow out of
my longing and will resist all ways
of being together going into involution.
retiring.
maybe i love, maybe not, maybe i do but cannot say anymore.
i cannot flow out but in.
the dam was built, and it grew too high
too often too much for too long.
so, tell me, is love simple?
i love Ogro, my horse, i can say it.
i can call him, i can find a name.
i have a name. call me.
one day it will be too late.
I am tired, not unhappy, not happy.
exhausted with dams
and unshared feeling.
Life will lead 'us' where it will.
Fatalistic..still, meaningful,
it says it doesn't matter who i am
or what i wish(ed).
this can be a release.
i can love all and nobody.
i am open for wonder.
this is all.
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