in this winter

in this winter
i carry darkness, tears,
pestilence, rats
and cockroaches

i carry war, despair,
all untold  fear,
blackened mirrors,
abscesses, an echo

terrorizing me
as i don't know
from where it comes
nor why

in this night
i carry all love,
all suffering,
the crucifix of the blind,

in this winter
i carry firewood
and coal
to the holy grail

offering my soul
to heaven
i carry senseless burden,
i ask my Lord, my Lady

to release me,
take my load
to the river
and give me ease

give me peace
i cannot give,
give me shelter
or let me die.