and it is a matter of choice for periods of time-
i am not a very graceful nor truly balanced person though i can be kind, compassionate and give...
in a certain love relationship i tend to feel
completely lost.
maybe i prefer to make myself unhappy than to follow perspectives creating more and more circles of hurtful situations, feelings, emotions and incidents possibly leading to final catastrophe and bitterness. hurtful for two.
maybe it can be more honest to say that i prefer to hurt me than to get hurt.
and don't want to cause prolonged and repeated pain for another.
my feeling, my heart does not agree, but thought, instinct and vision imprison me
so much that i feel i need to break out:
i feel unwell either way. i feel not well, and i only see a chance for peace alone.
it costs ...blood.
though i am gone i am here.
though i am here i have gone.
this is the waiting room of presence.
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