now..

now is now,

with a little patience.

do the waves feel joy

crashing on the rocks

spray flying, hissing,

they try to gnaw 

and beat the stone.

or could it be pain

in the memory of earth

and salty foam

to be taken by the wind

into far away skies

as i sit here,now,

words like drops

in a glass of wine,

the horizon vanishes

fog and gulls

hover above the sea

and i get sleepy

as winter tired me.

Views of Vila Nova de Gaia,Portugal

the giant does not sleep,but i did

The giant does not sleep 

but i did.

he moves in his bed

and the waves 

clash with rocks.

he is noisy and gentle

and untamed in his heart,

dangerous, violent,

he follows the rhythm

of the moon

he lives so deep

i cannot reach

the invisible there,

but my feet touch

his clothes of water

and i am filled

with a longing

to sail out,

to give myself

to the ocean

a short reflection on 'change': diary notes

no, i don't want to change.
it is not a question if i want to,
it is the certain knowledge that i do.
weather, climate, experience, ageing,
meeting, leaving, melting, clotting,
it is always present.
living, dying and all the beautiful and sad moments
and what we call love in so many words
meaning so many different experiences
and actions and acts are all connected.
this is not words about parallel worlds.
it is one life and one death.
it is personal.
and i want now to stay in my center:
and i am not going to change this.

this is not a prison cell, no,
it is balance,
and i can only move freely
as i am now
from there.

it is a wonderful rage outside

because

it is

completely

outside

about the fool..quoted from a blog (link)

http://zenyogagurdjieff.blogspot.pt/2015/02/a-fools-errand-part-i.html

 "I am, from what I can see, a fool— an idiot.

The fool used to have a special meaning; a fool has always, in the world of symbols and meanings, been more than a fool. A fool is, in those worlds, a mirror; a reflection of what we ourselves are, a metaphor for the egoistic dross we drape ourselves in; a wry analysis of the absurdities that life delivers. The gay dress symbolizes an emotional naivete; the attitude, an ignorance; the bells are the noise we make, the cap our shameless vanity.

The list could go on.

No wonder this figure, a true anachronism (today’s fools chiefly find their place in the vulgar buffoonery of mainstream media) has all but faded from sight. A society whose self-importance knows no limits has no shame; and the fool reminds us of it. No wonder we have banished him."


Well, in this case, all of the article and the  comment : i can agree.
 (link on top) 


Of course i am a fool myself, 
and i decided to stay as much as possible away from too much knowlege, thinking and intellectual dissection. I've done dissection before, anatomy, pathology, the history of thinking and feeling.
 I can do it, and through confusion i was led on into this again not long ago.
I felt i needed self-justification for being who i am and for dreaming.
Well, nobody does need this.

Only today i was nearly led into a philosophical discussion i didn't want to have.
Philosophy arises out of the basic confusion of who we are. 
This confusion can be analysed in all ways, historically, politically, psychologically, economically, theologically, whatsoever.
In the end it is crocodiles complaining of crocodiles.

This process of anyalyzing though necessary must be seen including its obvious limits.
It will result in better tools for self-defence and in an impaired ability to be oneself.
nothing obstructs a relaxed attitude in life more than continuous thinking.

and the confusion can never be solved following any of these ways.
a kind heart and awareness and a bit of persistence and courage are all what will remain important.


My identity is. I am.
I don't expect. I want.


In this case i want to be simply kissed, 

But is a great gift of humans, they can talk everything dead.
They don't need to. They die anyway, fools and kings and queens.

Still, I prefer to be a fool who tries to walk on water and drowns
to being a coward who didn't try.

so, i stop here.


(though i will ironically add: excuse my autodidact and personal way of seeing my own life...)