on communication, associations

once i heard a sentence such as" i could always just speak without causing and getting a problem", meaning receiving an emotional reaction.
if this is true, then nobody listened with full participation, just said umm and amm.

when what we say to another one is what and how we think for ourselves, we can keep it right there
as long as we do not in the process of speaking include mindfulness of the listener.
i guess this is a nearly impossible job.

when the speaker doesn't say spontaneously the truth, the message will arrive distorted or at least transformed, changed, a mutation.

the listener will recognize a lie, a  half truth just as well as perceive mindfulness and the effort
to reach and to touch.

when one speaks spontaneous truth, it is mostly egocentric truth,
the words out of aloneness will rarely reach togetherness.

the problems in this oscillating process are manifold.
one is, do i wish to reach the listener - and do i wish to listen?

do i want to be together or alone?

do i want to make a point, take a stand or do i wish to communicate,
leave gates open, can i dare, is it possible or shall i protect my opinions
and keep my experience away from change?
do i need to judge or can i let go?
can i forgive or must i insist?

what is it i truly wish ?
this is the question each healer and spiritual teacher will ask you:
what do you wish?
he will explain to you : if you don't know, i cannot help you, i cannot accompany you.

we are truly not always each other's healer.
even when we manage to make us understood with our wishes and in our essence:
we may fail and not find the response and companionship we looked for.

communication is not just a flow, it is work.
and either one wants to do it or not.
and though it takes honesty and nakedness and vulnerability, though it
takes blood and tears: the laughter may not arrive.

we must be humble and recognize our insufficiency,
our need and our helplessness.

when nothing else remains but memory,
we must find our own story.

and talk about the weather.
this is the best way to stay on safe ground.
to share impressions  and moods from outside of us...
universal rule of conversation.
when we cannot communicate, we'll have a conversation.
same when we don't know a thing about what we are asked.

i will always remember the joke on the social worker.
being asked by a stranger for the way to the railway station, he said:
i don't know, but we can sit down and discuss it.

This way talking to each other may be a friendly invitation
to share the lack of orientation.
good enough for a cup of coffee and a selfie.

and..maybe our life is more defined and so our communication
by what we do no want than by what we wish.


note:
see the B.Shaw quote , right side...

Americanism, The Guardian, associations

On Americanism, The Guardian


Read this excellent article.

Yes, this is not far anymore from Totalitarianism.
A government sacking at will a supreme court judge,
threatening china with war, treating other countries with
disrespect, arresting journalists,such a government is at least
dangerous to the freedom and welfare of its citizens
if not to the world.

As soon as we see the school children stand at attention
in front of huge Trump posters shouting unisono
"America first",  we know democracy will have lost.

When this new wave of nationalism will successfully take over indoctrination
at school, America will not belong to the "free" world anymore.

Can it happen?
Unfortunately everything can happen.
It is too early to know.

Will the intelligence and security agencies fish for anti-government individuals
and groups, anti-Trump-ists, call them anti-American, threaten them,
sort them out for removal?

Apart from a wall along the mexican border, will there be places to dispose
of critical individuals or will they just lose their jobs, get their bank accounts frozen
and be publicly slandered and privately threatened?

After the hunt for booze smugglers the agencies in question had taken over hunting
communists, now will it be hunting Anti-Americanists? and, clearly enough,
they will not be anti-America, but anti-totalitarian, anti-Trump, anti-government.

It is not fun to deal with the perverse elasticity of "alternative facts"
which turns real lies into a new kind of real truth, the truth of real power.

It is not only that journalists may be greedy for sensationalism,
no, there are too many parallels to see with Trump, Erdogan and Hitler.

I wonder, if Trump stays in power, do the Americans deserve him?

My only best conclusion is that clear enemies are better than friends
killing behind the lines and better than anonymous grey men never to be found,
a better stimulus to grow awareness and sharpen intelligence.

Unfortunately so: the grey men don't disappear, we cannot get at them.
They will still be there running business once we will be dead.
Alongside with discussing Mr. Trump in public,
a good press must be busy finding and exposing these grey men
running banks, weapon sales, wars and keeping up poverty and oppression.

intelligence, adaptation, change, quotes, Hawking, Einstein, associations

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change."

Stephen Hawking"

vs,

"The measure of intelligence is the ability to change."

Albert Einstein

now, my
associations on the meaning of adaptation for inter-being with others

when adaptation is called intelligence: 

there will be always someone to define the way i 'should' adapt

and who will call me stupid when i don't follow the same way.

therefore it is important to observe exactly the process of adaptation:

do i adapt or am i adapted?

to adapt to change in life and processes, 

new possibilities and ways, yes, when we can appreciate them

or/and when we don't have a choice. 

it is not a general must, we don't have to walk  all ways 'one' goes,

we must make our own choices.

to accept  others  does not mean to accept all happening to us.

to compromise is different from adapting but goes along with it,

the degree of tolerance varies with mutuality.

and there are other solutions to adaptation:

when i ride a river in a boat unsuitable for going down rapids,

i take it to land and walk.

i change to other ways of moving and to another territory.

this is why i prefer the second quote for many a moment in life.

it is change seen from a point of freedom meaning open ways.

of course, with unfavourable and unchangeable conditions

such as having to live in a wheel chair the first quote hits home.

Sprache, Wittgenstein, associations

"Die Grenzen meiner Sprache bedeuten die Grenzen meiner Welt." Ludwig Wittgenstein

I feel a bit of pity for Mr. Wittgenstein.
Does he mean his world as can be communicated within convention
between humans of one specific social background or does he really mean his world?

Systemology bores me quickly, it appears useless within my life, and here i mean the process of 
inventing new terms and perspectives for and within closed systems. because with his world as above he defines a closed system. no?

easily i can see the importance of analysis of communication as it always also deals with
communication with oneself in a socio-cultural, psychological and historic context: 
this context needs deconstruction so we can walk out and open systems
and see new ways out of our obsessed and ghostlike minds.

secondly we need this deconstruction to find to freedom from domination,
from oppressive concepts in which we all had been held for long since childhood.
we need it to analyze our social situations, in politics, in the office, at home.
we need or at least i need to see myself in relation to my dependence and  interdependence,
to my freedom and my mortality. i wish to see me in my place as free of set phrases as ever will be possible
and in all modesty: i need my balance point from where i can criticize myself and smile about me.
this balance point is not fixed nor defined: it changes as much as i move and do.

language is living, alive as we are and exists within a changing and living context.
can we walk out of language ? then we can indeed walk out of our mind.
communication is also what we do not say but may express and or experience 
with body language, with kisses, with pauses, with rhythm and with talking about something else.

what really disturbs in such sentences as above that there is more to my world
than my multi-structured restless mind and my archetype - influenced soul, my stream of emotions, 
my physical limitations: there is a center out of which we can radiate and grow.
language cannot find it, searching and finding the end of language can point us on a way.
but there will be no formula.

now, this is a chaotic and subjective interpretation and associations out of context
to one single phrase from this philosopher, all background removed.
i think this is good: 
take away the clothes, then you are either near or very far away.

I am near me and each day nearer death, this is quite enough to me,
i do not wish to spend time within closed systems of thought and analytic
tools which at best take away my awareness of life, of suffering, of joy,
of love and of the center out of which i try to live to my best ability
which is in fact a lot of work already.

reading is good, too much reading is ballast.
as a doctor and often near agony and death i learned
to do one thing: to forget.

i have already forgotten what i wrote here.
this is not a sign of dementia, in my opinion it is one
pre-condition for life,sleep, awareness of the present 
and of love and death.


Sprache bedeutet Annäherung oder Abwendung, Impuls, Einflussnahme,  Kontrolle,
jeder Versuch der Kommunikation bleibt ein Versuch, eine dauernde Erforschung von Kontext,
ein Verharren als auch ein Spiegelkampf im Missverstehen,
Kommunion ist nur ein flüchtiges Erleben, zumeist illusorisch, 
jedes Wort ruft ein anderes hervor, Sprache ist reaktionär.

Es macht bedeutend mehr Sinn, zusammen den Garten um zu graben, Kaffee zu trinken,
ins Bett zu gehen, sich die Hand zu halten, Liebe zu machen, zu reisen, Tauben zu füttern, zu sehen,
wie der Mond sich im Meer spiegelt und -wo es ein muß- sich über die Straße zu helfen und helfen zu lassen.

Innere Wandlung erfolgt nicht durch Sprache und doch, Sprache verführt, lenkt ab,kann Verhaltensmuster hervorrufen oder verstärken, Floskeln sind hypnotische Befehle wie jeder Werbefachmann es weiß.

Doch innere Freiheit,  die Suche und das Sehen und Finden des wesentlichen aus dem Zentrum
des Augenblicks entsteht erst mit der Auflösung der Sprache.

"Die Grenzen meiner Sprache bedeuten den Anfang meines Lebens." Conrad Feder

Philip Glass - Songs and Poems for Solo Cello - SONG III, & my tonight's associations

music stirring leaves up from the riverbed, dead and alive ones.

beauty, love, death, there is nothing to be generalized about these,
they are all very personal affairs. and they are inseparable from life as a soul.

all communication in which no tear flows are insubstantial.

i can listen to laughs and to tears, and i can feel the breath and

the essence of beauty, love, death.

when beauty becomes too important  per se, barbarism begins with

selection, this is the decadence of aestheticism, a sometimes deadly intellectual game

as history shows. 

and when self-observation is asked to bring joy to life,

the end is living in the past and a vague idea of freedom.

beauty...is not there when i am not flowing with life,
when there is no hope but only mere courage to cross
the borders of sadness and estrangement.
then all beauty appears constructed, far away and foreign,

what shimmers alive in the morning light is by now
like dead matter,and, mind you, i don't believe in matter,
it may look like rotting flesh brought out to attract the birds of prey,
to wear down my energy, to weigh upon my soul
like a stone.

and now i am this stone, i can be touched, smooth,
rough, cold or warm, round or with cracks and fissures and edges and scars.
but i feel not more than a stone can feel.

and still i hurt inside. i hurt, separated from my volcanic origin
i am heavy but weak, lonely among rocks and snakes and rain
and in the merciless heat of the sun.

i live in a desert. and now i am this desert.
i am a deserted place,
deprived,
but still alive another way
under the ashes of memory.
and i spread the scent of thyme, of autumn fires
and of a human who lived here.

somebody said i could leave this place
and go for a swim.
only i just don't know why.
I'd need a true call, a push, a pull,
but who can move stones and deserts?
is it love or is it pain or will it be this 'you'
who just needs to ask me, not more, not less.