Saturday, July 15, 2017
man i say, woman i say
of course, i have nothing new to say.
fundamental theme tonight:
i don't want to become but i am.
this sounds simple but it isn't.
first i will become another, wanting or not wanting.
this is the law of life and death: change.
i will become a dead body, some day.
second there is no fixed I who can be.
Most of the time we spend in a wandering mental
activity, in an associative modus operandi.
cognitive control and ability is much less
than we like to admit. our consciousness
is indeed not much more than the tip of an iceberg
and is in continuous flow and invention of a self.
Besides keeping us functioning in a socially
acceptable way, there is not so much conscious power
to direct change and growth and self development
as may be wished for:
the wagging tail does not move the dog.
it is quite good to feel lost:
this is a very basic and very truthful experience,
the self a shape shifting island
in an ever changing ocean.
so, i am can only mean being accepting
being lost, helpless and vulnerable and impermanent
and not minding so much...
it is worth a smile.
though i don't say we can do nothing:
this is also complete nonsense-
we just never know the outcome
whichever the intentions may be
and we cannot even be sure about the intentions.
This is the other basic truth:
always question, never know.
last, i thought enough, and i wish
to give myself to the luxury and mystery
of music which can integrate and take me and lift me
me like a love
and connect me to the universe who so ever i might be,
i don't need to know ..
and though i am not who i imagine i am at whichever time
and though i am not my feelings nor my thoughts
and though i am also all these:
when i don't exist, why take it all so seriously?
touch the bark of trees, listen to the birds, the wind, the sea,
the rain, make love and sink in arms you trust , forget yourself,
fall in love or fall asleep-
or listen to music...
man i say, woman i say, smile ...
look at yourself and you know why,
be still, listen...
fundamental theme tonight:
i don't want to become but i am.
this sounds simple but it isn't.
first i will become another, wanting or not wanting.
this is the law of life and death: change.
i will become a dead body, some day.
second there is no fixed I who can be.
Most of the time we spend in a wandering mental
activity, in an associative modus operandi.
cognitive control and ability is much less
than we like to admit. our consciousness
is indeed not much more than the tip of an iceberg
and is in continuous flow and invention of a self.
Besides keeping us functioning in a socially
acceptable way, there is not so much conscious power
to direct change and growth and self development
as may be wished for:
the wagging tail does not move the dog.
it is quite good to feel lost:
this is a very basic and very truthful experience,
the self a shape shifting island
in an ever changing ocean.
so, i am can only mean being accepting
being lost, helpless and vulnerable and impermanent
and not minding so much...
it is worth a smile.
though i don't say we can do nothing:
this is also complete nonsense-
we just never know the outcome
whichever the intentions may be
and we cannot even be sure about the intentions.
This is the other basic truth:
always question, never know.
last, i thought enough, and i wish
to give myself to the luxury and mystery
of music which can integrate and take me and lift me
me like a love
and connect me to the universe who so ever i might be,
i don't need to know ..
and though i am not who i imagine i am at whichever time
and though i am not my feelings nor my thoughts
and though i am also all these:
when i don't exist, why take it all so seriously?
touch the bark of trees, listen to the birds, the wind, the sea,
the rain, make love and sink in arms you trust , forget yourself,
fall in love or fall asleep-
or listen to music...
man i say, woman i say, smile ...
look at yourself and you know why,
be still, listen...
The Topography of Tears, Rose-Lynn Fisher
i found this so exquisitely beautiful, have to share here....
The Topography of Tears, brainpickings.org
quote:
The Little Prince: “It is such a secret place, the land of tears.”
quote:
R.-L- Fisher
'Tears are the medium of our most primal language in moments as unrelenting as death, as basic as hunger, and as complex as rites of passage. They are the evidence of our inner life overflowing its boundaries, spilling over into consciousness. Tears spontaneously release us to the possibility of realignment, reunion, catharsis, intractable resistance short-circuited… It’s as though each one of our tears carries a microcosm of the collective human experience, like one drop of an ocean."
tears of compassion
onion tears
tears of possibility / hope
quote:
Ann Lauterbach, The Night Sky,
from : brainpickings.org, same article on R.-L. Fisher
...“For a tear is an intellectual thing,” the great subversive 19th-century poet William Blake wrote, railing against the Deists, classical and contemporary; he believed they had stripped religion of its signal call for forgiveness, assigning too much authority to a single God and making human life untenable in its guilty abrasions. Tears are intellectual because they come from thoughts that spill over the body’s containing well; they are the secretion of excess we assign to emotion; perhaps emotion itself is simply caused by a surfeit of thought. One tries to unbind these durable dualities, to allow for the morphological shift that might allow the human creature to be complex but integrated, not divided into anatomical parts, all nouns and no transitive verb. We are not yet mechanical, technological things, we are intellectual — thinking — beings, and we cry when stirred beyond the capture of signifying Logos, which relents into flows of passionate silence. Perhaps this flow is the very proof that we cannot put our feelings in one place and our thoughts in another, the bleak result of a certain rationalism that threatens to overtake our civility — our capacity to forgive — and wants to make all ideas into abstractions, rigid and blunt, free of secretions."..
The Topography of Tears, brainpickings.org
quote:
The Little Prince: “It is such a secret place, the land of tears.”
quote:
R.-L- Fisher
'Tears are the medium of our most primal language in moments as unrelenting as death, as basic as hunger, and as complex as rites of passage. They are the evidence of our inner life overflowing its boundaries, spilling over into consciousness. Tears spontaneously release us to the possibility of realignment, reunion, catharsis, intractable resistance short-circuited… It’s as though each one of our tears carries a microcosm of the collective human experience, like one drop of an ocean."
tears of possibility / hope
quote:
Ann Lauterbach, The Night Sky,
from : brainpickings.org, same article on R.-L. Fisher
...“For a tear is an intellectual thing,” the great subversive 19th-century poet William Blake wrote, railing against the Deists, classical and contemporary; he believed they had stripped religion of its signal call for forgiveness, assigning too much authority to a single God and making human life untenable in its guilty abrasions. Tears are intellectual because they come from thoughts that spill over the body’s containing well; they are the secretion of excess we assign to emotion; perhaps emotion itself is simply caused by a surfeit of thought. One tries to unbind these durable dualities, to allow for the morphological shift that might allow the human creature to be complex but integrated, not divided into anatomical parts, all nouns and no transitive verb. We are not yet mechanical, technological things, we are intellectual — thinking — beings, and we cry when stirred beyond the capture of signifying Logos, which relents into flows of passionate silence. Perhaps this flow is the very proof that we cannot put our feelings in one place and our thoughts in another, the bleak result of a certain rationalism that threatens to overtake our civility — our capacity to forgive — and wants to make all ideas into abstractions, rigid and blunt, free of secretions."..
E.B.White, a letter, "Letters of Note", source: brainpickings.org
"Dear Mr. Nadeau:
As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.
Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society — things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man’s curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.
Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.
Sincerely,
E. B. White"
Hanta Virus infection, type Puumala, Finland, South of Germany (Baden Wuerttemberg) and other areas
Hemorrhagic fever with renal syndrome
The incubation period is 2-4 weeks.
Probably i caught my infection here before my holidays in Finland.
Here in my home area we have the type Puumala which is usually not so
dangerous though i had patients with renal failure retaining up to 15 ltrs within a few days after
the fever started and needed to be hospitalized for some days.
For many years i have diagnosed 7-9 cases a year in my own practice.
This year an incredible increase of infections has occurred in the area..
Only two days before i was struck down i diagnosed a Hanta infection in a patient,
he is ok, and i am, now. We didn't need hospital, most cases don't here.
I live with my cat who brings mice, and i live at the edge of the forest.
Sorry, there is neither prevention nor treatment nor a vaccine.
Seeing the overall number of cases yearly, it would be bad business
for industry to try and develop a vaccine.
The moment we are born the danger of death increases hour by hour,
this is to accept.
It is futile to fight this basic truth, and it is futile to be violent
against oneself-
we must welcome illness in our life
and not assume that we have a right to be healthy just the same as we have no inborn right
to be lucky, successful, happy, live in good conditions, be treated well
and with justice done to us.
This illusion could be stopped in kinder garden
and in the first years at primary school where we easily experience that it is untrue:
it just would need to teach questioning and thinking.
instead education and industry and politics produce and keep people in rich Western countries
within this frame of ideas,eternal youth, health, life and beauty, a right for happiness, a car, a good job, loans from the bank and enough income to pay them back, a good pension and a smiling old age with white teeth-
the chance to control future and fate and satisfy all needs even if they are not our own
but created in our daily conditioning: we can buy everything....this is the worst kind
of fucking our minds.
And all what happens to other people is put up on the screen of sensationalism:
it happens to other people, in other places, they just had bad luck or they were stupid or they would be alive and well.
This is what keeps up the illusion of a future without illness, death,
poverty.
The drive to sensationalism is not rooted in indifference and boredom but sure helps to create it:
it is rooted in the need to keep up an illusion of immortality and in human stupidity,
and of course fed by industry and politics , powers who will always use stupidity....
they have nothing else to go by.
Personally i saw that with such a kind of in-fection,
patience is the only course,
and i developed a humour which told me one thing clearly:
the virus tries to stay alive, propagates, tries to dominate, to escape,
but it will exhaust itself, as much as i am for some time tortured by it:
in the end i am his prison and death.
So as i see some panic around:
of course mothers can keep their children inside,
let them use gloves and protective masks outside,
best all life long...
it is not reasonable...certainly not intelligent.
best not to go out at all , there are all these traffic accidents,
much more of them than Hanta virus infections...,
dirt, mud, lice, rotten playgrounds and swings, bad persons, 'other' people,
danger allover..
It is enough not to let them lick dead mice, and as for lunch
there are other sources of food.
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