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Monday, October 29, 2018

sacred truth: the bird flies because it flies


there is no death and no life as separate experiences, all happens at the same time. the apple matures, falls into the grass, insects feast on it, the tree sheds its leaves for the winter and under the snow the green buds come out. the apples fertilize the soil or may be eaten to keep another alive. somebody dies who has lived and died for long, next house a child is born. when we think life and death in any line through time we imagine gates. 
but in truth and in experience these gates are open all through, life and death are one process.

and though Alan Watts describes us in a parable as ships crossing the ocean of  time, it is not about drawing a straight line from birth to death, what he wants to tell us is that we are not driven by the wake, we move and doing this we create past and future, 
and we can at any moment create a new past.
we should not limit us to be driven by an inescapable past, this is a trap.

i know we can change memory only by making better experiences, each moment changes the past and the future.
all therapeutic interventions for these poor and bad children in us can only be a preparation to take us to the point from where the bird flies. without flying he will ruminate that he cannot and be stuck.

we can experience joy looking into wide skies and pain being imprisoned, but when we accept our condition all as one process and manifestation of cosmic origin, we will be as free as we can ever be.

one way to experience the mystery unfolding can be making love, when we are open and give us, life and death can be experienced in one. and this is a release into being one with all, our origin.
not only a release by ‘small death’ but by life just the same, one.
this can happen in love and trust in the presence of the other, in a state of readiness to experience mystery.

and it cannot happen in repetition. such as holiness will not come to us by turning prayer wheels. this does not make all meaningless, there are ways to remind us of  ‘holy’  being reality and us stuck in clouds, illusion, trouble, illness, worry, grief and anger. and ways to find solace and wings. there is tenderness, grace, the gift of forgetting and sleep.

but there are other ways too. all of them are not books. they are acts and experience. moving, outside, inside.
walking, music, dance, being with friends. all what is fully done or experienced. moments to open us, through terrible pain or through sudden overwhelming joy.

meditation without being opened like a tin can  will not let us feel this.

we must give us, in life, in death, in joy, in pain, in love-or we cannot be free.

there is no risk in giving, we die anyway and will experience loss,
no moment to cling to. no wall around, no fixed branch to hold.

on the other side it is quite clear to all of us that life cannot be experienced as mere and constant joy and death is an ongoing and in the end unfolding release.
this is the first to see,
the basis of all meditation. not stressing death as something dark and bad and so important-it is not more important than life, it does not exist independently.

i have more problems with the integration of badness than with death in my soul. death belongs to
me just as life. and -there is very real badness, cruelty and monstrous killing egomania. i cannot forgive where forgiveness is not sought, even not when i may understand.

i am not ashamed to be human, to be temporary, limited.
i am ashamed when i do wrong and know.
i stand to that the only sin is to harm oneself or others though knowing one does.