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Thursday, May 4, 2017

My father in the night commanding No, Louis Simpson

My father in the night commanding No 
Has work to do. Smoke issues from his lips; 
He reads in silence. 
The frogs are croaking and the street lamps glow. 

And then my mother winds the gramophone; 
The Bride of Lammermoor begins to shriek— 
Or reads a story— 
About a prince, a castle, and a dragon. 

The moon is glittering above the hill. 
I stand before the gateposts of the King— 
So runs the story 
Of Thule, at midnight when the mice are still. 

And I have been in Thule! It has come true— 
The journey and the danger of the world, 
All that there is 
To bear and to enjoy, endure and do. 

Landscapes, seascapes ... where have I been led? 
The names of cities—Paris, Venice, Rome— 
Held out their arms. 
A feathered god, seductive, went ahead. 

Here is my house. Under a red rose tree 
A child is swinging; another gravely plays. 
They are not surprised 
That I am here; they were expecting me. 

And yet my father sits and reads in silence, 
My mother sheds a tear, the moon is still, 
And the dark wind 
Is murmuring that nothing ever happens. 

Beyond his jurisdiction as I move 
Do I not prove him wrong? And yet, it's true 
They will not change 
There, on the stage of terror and of love. 

The actors in that playhouse always sit 
In fixed positions—father, mother, child 
With painted eyes. 
How sad it is to be a little puppet! 

Their heads are wooden. And you once pretended 
To understand them! Shake them as you will, 
They cannot speak. 
Do what you will, the comedy is ended. 

Father, why did you work? Why did you weep, 
Mother? Was the story so important? 
"Listen!" the wind 
Said to the children, and they fell asleep. 

Apart, Louis Simpson

Do not write. I am sad, and want my light put out.
Summers in your absence are as dark as a room.
I have closed my arms again. They must do without.
To knock at my heart is like knocking at a tomb.
Do not write!

Do not write. Let us learn to die, as best we may.
Did I love you? Ask God. Ask yourself. Do you know?
To hear that you love me, when you are far away,
Is like hearing from heaven and never to go.
Do not write!

Do not write. I fear you. I fear to remember,
For memory holds the voice I have often heard.
To the one who cannot drink, do not show water,
The beloved one's picture in the handwritten word.
Do not write!

Do not write those gentle words that I dare not see,
It seems that your voice is spreading them on my heart,
Across your smile, on fire, they appear to me,
It seems that a kiss is printing them on my heart.
Do not write! 

..when i die, don't write ...:-)

Leonard Cohen , You Got Me Singing

One Man' s Dream, Yanni

HAVASI plays Liszt , Dreams of Love (Liebestraum No. 3) LIVE at Budapest...

HAVASI , Freedom | Drum & Piano (Official Video)

out of sleep~a kind of fear, a diary note

tomorrow i have to go for a cardiac catheter, a routine,
it suddenly made me restless and brought unwelcome memories.

i learned that one can only give the affection one feels and the care
in so far as one gives both to oneself.

i learned from me and from another one.
i stayed with love rising above clouds and reaching through them.
this is the name i give.

i will my fear not let win to define my actions
but it troubles me all the same from quite deep down.
last year in spring had not been a good time,
but now is now.

i try to sleep,
dreaming of travel and journey.



IF DA VINCI WAS A GIRL , Jacob Gurevitsch

Alain Badiou, In Praise of Love, quotes

Alain Badiou, In Praise of Love

as i run out of words and poems... i quote and feel around on it:

'Provided it isn’t conceived only as an exchange of mutual favours, or isn’t calculated way in advance as a profitable investment, love really is a unique trust placed in chance. It takes us into key areas of the experience of what is difference and, essentially, leads to the idea that you can experience the world from the perspective of difference.'

'Love… is a quest for truth… truth in relation to something quite precise: what kind of world does one see when one experiences it from the point of view of two and not one? What is the world like when it is experienced, developed and lived from the point of view of difference and not identity? That is what I believe love to be.'


'We shouldn’t underestimate the power love possesses to slice diagonally through the most powerful oppositions and radical separations. The encounter between two differences is an event, is contingent and disconcerting… On the basis of this event, love can start and flourish. It is the first, absolutely essential point. This surprise unleashes a process that is basically an experience of getting to know the world. Love isn’t simply about two people meeting and their inward-looking relationship: it is a construction, a life that is being made, no longer from the perspective of One but from the perspective of Two.'

'Love cannot be reduced to the first encounter, because it is a construction. The enigma in thinking about love is the duration of time necessary for it to flourish. In fact, it isn’t the ecstasy of those beginnings that is remarkable. The latter are clearly ecstatic, but love is above all a construction that lasts. We could say that love is a tenacious adventure. The adventurous side is necessary, but equally so is the need for tenacity. To give up at the first hurdle, the first serious disagreement, the first quarrel, is only to distort love. Real love is one that triumphs lastingly, sometimes painfully, over the hurdles erected by time, space and the world.'


'To make a declaration of love is to move on from the event-encounter to embark on a construction of truth. The chance nature of the encounter morphs into the assumption of a beginning. And often what starts there lasts so long, is so charged with novelty and experience of the world that in retrospect it doesn’t seem at all random and contingent, as it appeared initially, but almost a necessity. That is how chance is curbed: the absolute contingency of the encounter with someone I didn’t know finally takes on the appearance of destiny. The declaration of love marks the transition from chance to destiny, and that’s why it is so perilous and so burdened with a kind of horrifying stage fright.
[…]
The locking in of chance is an anticipation of eternity… The problem then resides in inscribing this eternity within time. Because, basically, that is what love is: a declaration of eternity to be fulfilled or unfurled as best it can be within time: eternity descending into time.
[…]
Happiness in love is the proof that time can accommodate eternity. And you can also find proof … in the pleasure given by works of art and the almost supernatural joy you experience when you at last grasp in depth the meaning of a scientific theory.'