please make me still

please make me still
not god nor me
but your
grace and softness

i try so hard
to be silent
but i cannot be
i longed for you

the sweet apples
of our autumn
they are rotting
under the trees

intoxicating scent
of maturation
and death
we could pick too few

and now
blood and wine
saturate the earth
why did we fear

to enjoy  them
in our time
wasting sleep
and all desire?

please make me still
i cannot give more
than i did
and all the roses

but i cannot
take away all thorns
nor death
we live only now

in the end: mad

in the end
nothing to say,
all has been words
turned against the talker

all is
whispered into wind
no blood, no flesh,
substance dissolved

written
even voiceless
dead persons
ghosts

page for page
no redemption
no release
no birth nor life

all fire has gone out
all breath is
in another land
haunted by past demons

all is acid
now
all annihilated
in dreamless void

the heart
cannot speak
with words
but with kisses

and inside
with clear flow
stopped outside
as if forever

continued:this is all i know, the story of the unfolding

one morning a strange thing occurred on top of the mountain, amongst the twitter of birds, the chirping of sparrows and the gurgling of the small river, near to racing autumn clouds and the wild blue sky.

he heard a voice, it was a part of his own, memory of the sweetness of the queen.

without second thought he walked down the narrow path, in the scent of herbs  and wet soil and in clear light flowing through all.

he found the way to her fortress, knocked and entered.

Not bidding him welcome but for the shortest moment with the most distant smile behind her eyes thus she spoke:

but you are a dead man standing out there clattering your teeth in the frost, and i have no need of men nor of ghosts

but of my fireplace and peace. i beg you to leave.

Dumbfounded he turned around, tears in his old eyes.

Stumbling in no direction a huge black sheep approached him: follow me, it said.

And he did.

After seven and more days between waking and dreaming they reached a

clearing in the forest. In it there was a fluid shimmering which mirrored the sky, and when you looked into it you found blackness coming in the deep. The water was sweet and soft. Man and animal quenched their thirst. Then the black sheep bowed and said:you know what to do. Without one further thought he jumped into the well, down and down, losing all consciousness long before having reached  the bottom.Drowning and breathing at the same time in the deepest of sleep. And a current under water and under earth took him into a cave with green moss and sunrays coming from above.

There he woke and did not know who he was. All memory lost.

And again, this is all i know.