on the ambiguity of language in women

In  Japanese language and in conventional conversation
communication happens on a level of  inter-being.

Each party listens, it is unthinkable that only one person speaks all the time.
None says what they think but, and this is important,
both try to say nothing in such a way that the other one can
either find a safe retreat or a way forward or possibly
even can try to understand and understand that he/she is understood.

There is space, for both.
And this space is respected.

There is a yes in this language, when it is used without annotation: then it is a yes.
Otherwise the yes will mean no or rather no.

There is a word for no in Japanese which translates as "perhaps certainly yes", it is of course no.

The most you can get of a no may be an answer to a simple question,
say "Do you want to go to...?" will be "I don't want to go to...".
Mostly you may get another answer,
such as "my aunt's birthday will be in the way for the next days"...which is also no.

Now my hypothesis is that in Europe women are the "Japanese" here,
referring to the use of language.

As they are an object of desire and a prey for consumption in all patriarchal societies,
they need to keep a space of their own.
Also they do not wish to evoke aggression by someone losing face
when they say no to an invitation.
They are masters of ambiguous language,
leaving it to the other one to understand what they mean.
The roots of this language are in history and personal social experience.

And they have a talent to deeply accept and cultivate a "maybe",
after all they bear a child nine months until it
maybe can be born alive, healthy and maybe grow up in safety
and maybe find happiness and a meaning in life.

When they bring up a child, they have to find space for themselves even more,
and at the same time they have to create and keep a space of emotional security for their child,
day for day learn and apply mindfulness, compassion and kindness,
they have to give space.

In fact, they have to give so much space that for some time
when the children will have left the house,
they can fall and must find new borders
and create another space of their own altogether.

Go in contrast to Chess is a game making use of space, not direct fight but setting borders
and creating space.
Thinking in Go is in the root thinking space not enemy.
What the games have in common are the tactics of distraction and evasion.
Man looks for an opponent, woman for space.


Of course, not to be misunderstood, Japanese people do have a no in their language,
to be used in more violent and primitive scenarios, by army or police too.
And I didn't say Japanese are kinder than other people in other countries.
They  have a fairly brutal and horrible history of war and violence, same as us.

This here is merely about the use of ambiguous language and the kindness
as well as the defensive basis of European women.
I feel i can say that women here are the kinder men
and that in the course of their life they can learn emotional intelligence
better than men-because they need it.

Tchaikovsky ,Sleeping Golden Cloud

Winter Winds, Sandy Denny

Chet Baker, Every Time We Say Goodbye

so hard so short times, this much "interbeing" without a home in there yet