"If children learn through exposure to new experiences, mourners unlearn through exposure to absence in new contexts. Grief requires acquainting yourself with the world again and again; each “first” causes a break that must be reset… And so you always feel suspense, a queer dread—you never know what occasion will break the loss freshly open."
"Whatever my life is, whatever my loss is, it’s small in the face of all that existence… The meteor shower changed something. I was looking the other way through a telescope before: I was just looking at what was not there. Now I look at what is there."
"It’s not a question of getting over it or healing. No; it’s a question of learning to live with this transformation. For the loss is transformative, in good ways and bad, a tangle of change that cannot be threaded into the usual narrative spools. It is too central for that. It’s not an emergence from the cocoon, but a tree growing around an obstruction."
https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/06/09/meghan-o-rourke-the-long-goodbye/
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
moralized away
Today i saw love and being in love moralized away.
I saw pain and effort being moralized away and statements of
how love should be.
Everybody needs a reason to feel right,
i see no such reasons,
either i do or i don't feel well-
but morals is always good for this,
and especially so if one mixes morals and ethics,
then nobody will escape judgement.
And judgement is the most useless ingredient
of life, it only helps to close with a statement.
I do not wish to be right, i have other needs.
Being in love is egocentric at its core but has tremendous possibilities
of a flow out and towards and can connect as well as separate.
Loving is walking out of ego with an effort in awareness and care for another one.
What happens when both cannot be reconciled?
This.
For example.
I saw pain and effort being moralized away and statements of
how love should be.
Everybody needs a reason to feel right,
i see no such reasons,
either i do or i don't feel well-
but morals is always good for this,
and especially so if one mixes morals and ethics,
then nobody will escape judgement.
And judgement is the most useless ingredient
of life, it only helps to close with a statement.
I do not wish to be right, i have other needs.
Being in love is egocentric at its core but has tremendous possibilities
of a flow out and towards and can connect as well as separate.
Loving is walking out of ego with an effort in awareness and care for another one.
What happens when both cannot be reconciled?
This.
For example.
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