The man without qualities (Robert Musil)

i enjoyed reading it, not once, several times. 'Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften'.

I am not this man. Through reading this book i found that I do not want to stay in detached analysis and passive absence.

i found to my own presence in which to develop qualities, risking that some may not be so good. but i am alive. I accept.

the unbearable lightness of being (Milan Kundera)

commitment is desirable and possible. it means chosen dependence and as such freedom. it is a commitment to share joy and suffering, to walk through in trust. it is a place of peace, but the harvest needs work. the soil must for each not be stone, and the ground for walking must be found together. when fear and the need for detachment is stronger than joy, all this is not possible. but spiritual growth in solitude only  is a dangerous enterprise. whenever you meet reality, you will see that all you have not failed in, is to stay alone.

perception

perception has been imagination before 

it came true or untrue.

each image is what i see

liquid

to stay liquid

as water and mercury

is hard in pain

when you eat sadness

until you fill

with night and forest.

to see it here, the sea,

takes me on my way.

you can feed the ocean,

it is not impressed.

3,14159......irrational, transcendental

so

pi is as life

irrational,

transcendental

she has no relatives

no relation to any other

but she is real

she is out

and she is in,

she is here

and she is not

she fascinates

but keeps away

from being understood

who is who

im atem des lichts

im atem des lichts:

hier ist der ozean,

dort die erde

blut von tausenden,

exkremente, formen,

verwest, zersetzt,

im kreislauf des lebens

wird tod zu nahrung,

aus zersetzung keimen

knospen und rhythmus

wir essen die toten,

wir trinken sie,

wir atmen sie,

es ist so, so.

es gibt keine leere,

nur welle um welle,

für immer vergänglich,

für immer neu

hier ist das meer, 

die gezeiten geben takt.

anziehung, abstossung

bestimmen die richtung

der kraft, die überall fliesst,

in dir, in mir, hier und dort.

wer dazwischen kommt,

treibt hinaus ins uferlose

oder landet an den felsen.

traum war der beginn,

traum wird das ende.

den schmerz zu fliehen

wo die vögel singen

und das herz schlägt,

tötet den traum.

überleben ist kampf im wind

aber auch tanz der freude.

ohne zu teilen sind wir arm.

im meer der träume

sind wir nun hilflos vereint,

in der wüste verirrt

zwischen den dünen

aus sand und wahn.

doch hier, hier ist das meer,

es wird uns nehmen,

asche, kampf, lieben,

einsamkeit und trauer.

niemand wird uns kennen.

so verwehen wir, vergehen,

wir gehen allein,

fern von den sternen

in unser dunkel hinein

und doch im atem des lichts:

hier ist das meer,

dort ist die erde.

der himmel ist überall.

survival

the point is that a person who struggles for survival in the cold see will draw others down. whosoever.or knowing this swims away as far as possible whenever somebody comes near.

i am very very sad.

easier

it is most certainly easier to love animals than humans.

i love animals but i don't opt for the easy ways.

Barley field in Ireland, John O'Grady

There are many ways

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.

Anais Nin

good journey~

there is no one

anymore to relate to

but myself.

i talk to the wind.

there is a garden

in my desert, lonely,

but the spring flows,

the birds sing.

i wanted you to sing too.

we said good bye

at the winter garden.

i can't go on.

i need my laughing horse,

the hilly forests of the garfagnana,

the purr of my motorbike

i will be there , my stomach filled

with cheese and wine,

and a sleepy smile will return,

it is mine. my cat may see.

we will not share.

i must stay alone.

but may our hearts find out of stone,

so we learn not just to feel 

but give and love.

may, and i pray

as you lighted a candle for me,

your way lead out of ego

circling  fear and death and pain

may you laugh and dance

and be reborn , because you will,

to carry your burden with ease,

to wake for happy mornings

and sleep under the moon

and the spiralling stars

dreaming in the tides

and the breath of eternity.

good journey...~~~

a frog is an amphibian: i am a zebra

i wonder
how many days
i will not count
i jumped across my shadows

kann ein frosch
über seinen schatten
hüpfen
anmutig, waghalsig

oder unbeholfen scheitern,
mit einem leisen quaken
im sumpf, im dunklen kraut
seine zuflucht suchen?

i am not an amphibian
nor do i wish to hide.
doch ich war nicht da,
ich war nicht hier,

i am a zebra
running free
now.
jetzt darf ich's sein.

Genoa

time für deutsch

i needed a hand. it is not there.

i need to stop for a time this way of thinking

and writing in English. it means talking

to person who was, is and will not be

present, a person in my imagination, but

another person in what we are forced to call reality.

ich muss in Deutsch denken und schreiben,

obwohl ich meine sprache nicht so sehr mag:

zu klotzig, gewalttätig, wuchtig, oberlehrerhaft besserwisserisch, umständlich,

bürokratisiert, politisch instrumentalisiert, unfähig

zum einfachen und zu schlichtheit im gefühl,

bierernst, sentimental, kotzbrockenhaft.

zu viele substantive....

ich muss es versuchen. das erlaube ich mir.

Cremona