Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Fleadh, Sligo, Ireland
o i liked this child at the end..:-), reminds of a very old me..
when i was still dreaming all the time...
poor and pure: an exercise in re-learning my understanding of language
here not necessary words. just thinking for myself if all statements are necessary, mine and others, taking my space for the mind which does not let me sleep.
i was thinking about a second line in a sentence, a line i may have understood wrongly.
love when deep does not need loving back, it does not depend on being loved-or: it is not necessary to be loved back. i am still not sure on the direction of this sentence. between depending and necessáry there is a fine but huge difference.
we grew up learning what is necessary to survive functioning within social norms and for this in continuous rebellion of soul and desire. throwing overboard as many norms and names as we could we still internalized to see experience, feeling, emotion, outcome, personal relationships, humans, animals, stones, whatsoever as necessary or non-necessary in relation to our perspectives and intentions. this evaluation stems from our conditioned need to control and dominate the world and us ourselves. all such evaluation makes us poor. to say we do not depend on this or that is not the same as to say it is not necessary. i don’t depend on apples but i enjoy to eat them. also i like to hold them, touch them, smell them, look at their beauty, colour, texture and roundness. as soon as i see them as not necessary i rob myself of apples and i will not do justice to apples. i will fall out of grace because of an evaluation process which limits my perception and the richness of life. it is not necessary to sing in the bathroom but it is fun for sure.
i feel we should get rid as much as we can of any generalizing evaluation in our life. it is a matter of opening the gates for the flow of love and pain and life itself as it is.
who cannot be wounded is living in a deadly shell, and though love itself is pure and does need neither approval nor coins of happiness raining on us, we should be poor to say loving each other is not necessary.
love is not just a feeling inside a self-sufficient monadic soul but work and care and giving and giving way and space always again seeing the essence of another and trying to see innate possibilities for growth to good without quarreling now about the definition of ‘good’.
it is of course uncomfortable to be loved by a person to whom we know we do injustice accepting care for us when we find this one not at the level of an equal to us. it can cause only trouble on both sides. this does not only include partners, lovers, it goes just as well for children and parents. children are not ‘our’ children nor do they stay children.
the act and experience of loving takes us beyond ourselves and transforms our experience of life into fulfillment though it takes all energy it just the same gives enough in itself. so to be loved is not necessary is true but without being loved and cared for life is hard and often poor. this is not a contradiction. it is just more complicated for love to be mutual such as a soloist may not be able to play together with an orchestra or that a poet cannot read and share.
is an orchestra necessary? does the flutist depend on an opera house or the poet on a filled theatre?
no.
but harmony only inside will be just as mixed with lies and dissonances as harmony together, and in togetherness with friend, partner, lover, bird or dog the other may pull us calling with a voice resonating deeply in us with lovable presence. and when we can be silent in the pauses just being who we are as we are we reach a heaven of real peace.
this is why being naked in soul and/ or body is beautiful when love is present also in the in between: we know and feel we can trust to be allowed to be us as we are.
so not necessary is not said enough and does not do justice to the richness of life. all else reminds me of puritanism which everybody can google.
and as for me, quite personally, i depend on food and drink. i am unable to discuss this in terms of necessity.
i was thinking about a second line in a sentence, a line i may have understood wrongly.
love when deep does not need loving back, it does not depend on being loved-or: it is not necessary to be loved back. i am still not sure on the direction of this sentence. between depending and necessáry there is a fine but huge difference.
we grew up learning what is necessary to survive functioning within social norms and for this in continuous rebellion of soul and desire. throwing overboard as many norms and names as we could we still internalized to see experience, feeling, emotion, outcome, personal relationships, humans, animals, stones, whatsoever as necessary or non-necessary in relation to our perspectives and intentions. this evaluation stems from our conditioned need to control and dominate the world and us ourselves. all such evaluation makes us poor. to say we do not depend on this or that is not the same as to say it is not necessary. i don’t depend on apples but i enjoy to eat them. also i like to hold them, touch them, smell them, look at their beauty, colour, texture and roundness. as soon as i see them as not necessary i rob myself of apples and i will not do justice to apples. i will fall out of grace because of an evaluation process which limits my perception and the richness of life. it is not necessary to sing in the bathroom but it is fun for sure.
i feel we should get rid as much as we can of any generalizing evaluation in our life. it is a matter of opening the gates for the flow of love and pain and life itself as it is.
who cannot be wounded is living in a deadly shell, and though love itself is pure and does need neither approval nor coins of happiness raining on us, we should be poor to say loving each other is not necessary.
love is not just a feeling inside a self-sufficient monadic soul but work and care and giving and giving way and space always again seeing the essence of another and trying to see innate possibilities for growth to good without quarreling now about the definition of ‘good’.
it is of course uncomfortable to be loved by a person to whom we know we do injustice accepting care for us when we find this one not at the level of an equal to us. it can cause only trouble on both sides. this does not only include partners, lovers, it goes just as well for children and parents. children are not ‘our’ children nor do they stay children.
the act and experience of loving takes us beyond ourselves and transforms our experience of life into fulfillment though it takes all energy it just the same gives enough in itself. so to be loved is not necessary is true but without being loved and cared for life is hard and often poor. this is not a contradiction. it is just more complicated for love to be mutual such as a soloist may not be able to play together with an orchestra or that a poet cannot read and share.
is an orchestra necessary? does the flutist depend on an opera house or the poet on a filled theatre?
no.
but harmony only inside will be just as mixed with lies and dissonances as harmony together, and in togetherness with friend, partner, lover, bird or dog the other may pull us calling with a voice resonating deeply in us with lovable presence. and when we can be silent in the pauses just being who we are as we are we reach a heaven of real peace.
this is why being naked in soul and/ or body is beautiful when love is present also in the in between: we know and feel we can trust to be allowed to be us as we are.
so not necessary is not said enough and does not do justice to the richness of life. all else reminds me of puritanism which everybody can google.
and as for me, quite personally, i depend on food and drink. i am unable to discuss this in terms of necessity.
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