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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

to be calm had never appealed to me: a short meditation to share

to be calm had never appealed to me, had never.
i breathe into my night,
and i rest in hands i don't know about.
i don't need to know.
maybe they are mine. maybe yours.
maybe it is life.
maybe they are God's hands.
maybe .

my cat crawls up on my lap.
he wants to be close.
he purrs.
i am sure it is not love.
and i am not sure if it is his need
or just a mood.
i don't care.

no. to be calm had never appealed to me.
i had wanted to be different, inspired,
outstanding, powerful.
what is this power?
it takes so much for nothing.
and inspiration, well,
to say the truth of now,
i don't always want to fly.
i am walking on earth,
not on water.


to be calm had never appealed to me.
i had wanted to be away.
but why is now not enough?
open for the next now,
but now is now.

to be calm had never appealed to me.
i had wanted to be loved,
but do i need it?
will i not be bored
if it should be too much?
can i not just love?
can it be?

to be calm had never appealed to me.
now: i thought it is a prison
and the bird of my longing
must escape and find a branch
from where it can sing.
can i not sing here?

to be calm had never appealed to me.
a touch of grace felt like a threat
that  i could be possessed.
but am i not my own man?
i am free.

to be calm had never appealed to me.
how do you walk a tight rope
high up in the sky:
you forget what you do,
and you are in balance.

so i forgot,
and to be calm
and in balance
feels right.

there is no need to defend
what i do not own
and there is no need to defend
what i own:
i am like water,
and i am, me.


well, now.











David Bowie - Lazarus (Official Video)



..and even still even humour in dying....*



Look up here, I'm in heaven
I've got scars that can't be seen
I've got drama, can't be stolen
Everybody knows me now


Look up here, man, I'm in danger
I've got nothing left to lose
I'm so high, it makes my brain whirl
Dropped my cell phone down below
Ain't that just like me?


By the time I got to New York
I was living like a king
Then I used up all my money
I was looking for your ass


This way or no way
You know I'll be free
Just like that bluebird
Now, ain't that just like me?

Oh, I'll be free
Just like that bluebird
Oh, I'll be free
Ain't that just like me?

Filipe Marinheiro - Cantam as tulipas (por José-António Moreira)

Wings Of Silence遠方的寂靜

Neil Young - My Heart (Video)

The Tiger Lillies - Hamlet [2012] full album

Echoes of the Valley--Hari Prasad Chaurasia & Shiv Kumar Sharma (2004)