too lazy to swim

following the flood
and after the storm,
coming out of confusion
peeling of illusion

all ships sunk,
the ark disappeared
no way through wreckage
but to start and fly

my eyes burn holes
through the night
and i must rise
when i see this blue,

must meet the sky.
one day you
will look for me,
i will be gone

just walk on, float,
it is so hard to be easy,
wake to distant shores,
i will not be there

remember me
when a dog barks,
when your shadows
come out of corners

when a cat greets you
in the street,
when a bird
picks up your crumbs

don't forget
that i woke each night
listening to stars:
i learned to fly

it is so hard to be easy,
to fly is to be alone
to listen to the void
so far below

all this waste sea
is humming with sound,
it numbs the music
of heaven

i am too lazy
to swim,
too heavy
to float

understand,
i had to fly.