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Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Alain de Botton, The Course of Love, quotes

"It may come very fast, this certainty that another human being is a soulmate. We needn't have spoken with them; we may not even know their name. Objective knowledge doesn't come into it. What matters instead is intuition: a spontaneous feeling that seems all the more accurate and worthy of respect because it bypasses the normal process of reason."

"Sexiness might at first appear to be a merely physiological phenomenon, the result of awakened hormones and stimulated nerve endings. But in truth it is not so much about sensations as it is about ideas- foremost among them, the idea of acceptance, and the promise of an end to loneliness and shame."

"Looked at through this ancient Greek lens, when lovers point out what might be unfortunate or uncomfortable about the other's character, they shouldn't be seen as giving up on the spirit of love.
They should be congratulated for trying to do something very true to love's essence: helping their partners to develop into better versions of themselves.

In a more evolved world, one a little more alive to the Greek ideal of love, we would perhaps know to be a little less clumsy, scared and aggressive when wanting to point something out, and rather less combative, and sensitive when receiving feedback. "


"Childhood sweetness: the immature part of goodness, as seen through the prism of adult experience, which is to say from the far side of a substantial amount of suffering, renunciation and discipline.
 We label as 'sweet' children's open display of hope, trust, spontaneity, wonder and simplicity-qualities which are under severe threat, but are deeply longed for in the ordinary run of grown-up life, The sweetness of children reminds us of how much we had to sacrifice on the path to maturity; the sweet is a vital part of ourselves-in exile."

Pronouncing a lover "perfect" can only be a sign that we have failed to understand them. We can claim to have begun to know someone only when they have substantially betrayed us."


In this book romanticism is being deeply questioned though the need to be loved is not being despised. the idea of love finds meaning.
No one can be fully understood, no one has no secrets .
There is a way to transcendence of self for another : but nobody is perfect. 
The secret of living  communication is in acceptance of each other.
I like this book.










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