Ascension , Dead Can Dance

music can give us rivers and clouds, light and shadow, all  always moving.



i remember how very deeply frustrated, sad and even angry i had been as a child

seeing the first cinema films dealing with books i had read for myself.

my own inner films had been so different...and ..much better, immensely alive

in comparison to the shadows on the wall, Hollywood constructions..it felt

like a betrayal.


in the aftermath i think a lot of analytic views are wrong and right together.


when being romantic means to have one's own film and narration of life

and to feel it should be neither diluted nor cheated on, then i will stay

a romantic.

romanticism is completely different and has a historical

and sociological context.

if being romantic means to keep eyes open

and to keep on playing inside like a child then i am romantic.


if to be adult means to learn to deal with frustration

 then i am probably adult but only so far as I wish to be

 and can be.

It doesn't appear so terribly important.

More important to me is to recognize the root of frustration

whenever it is truly important to keep integrity and openness. both.