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Thursday, February 15, 2018

when my cat woke me


now when my cat woke
me out of first dream
with my suitcase
thundering down the stairs

i woke to the words
i kept near and inside
throughout today
driving in trance

they are not for me
but for you and for you.
do not wail at my grave
when i will be dead

be silent with my release
and know this:
you have only now.
live with what you have

in grace
and try to be kind.
this is simple.
no rites of sacrifice,

no exercise in suffering-
you will suffer anyway,
also with this, do it
in grace.

when you are near my ashes
you can let memories come,
you can let them go
and stay silent with me.

you may cry, you may laugh,
you can smile but do not think.
please let no priest come to
forgive what you and i must forgive.

please no monologues
dripping euphemisms
nor too much sadness,
why, i will not be sad.

please no psychologists, analysis
makes you turn into pillars
of  salt, you turn back
to stay in the past.

please no philosophy
nor speculations on karma:
even for my urn
it will be too heavy

and i cannot carry
opinions and not even
tears  where i will be,
in the waste land

where all comes and goes
and where the seeds grow
for flowers
you cannot yet see

i do not search for heaven
nor nirvana, i will be light
released into the sea
of all our life and death.

i will listen closely,
closer than your ears
i will be there
and if i can i will smile.

do not explain death.
to live and to die
is your only way.
may you find peace.

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