to be dead
i find it hard
but it appears
or so i heard
to be a pre-requisite
for love
maybe this i why
people say
I'd die for you
but not
i'd live for you.
to want nothing
and to keep quiet
but to be happy
and peaceful
i must grasp
i am not Buddha
even my poor brain
has come to this
to be dead
but to flow
to breathe
to be
when does a river
see the sea?
it is not the river,
just particles of water
streaming into
other water
mixing
and getting dispersed
mostly
o no, this is not
about eros and thanatos.
it is another matter
that i was forced to
have sex in a theatre coffin
by a young woman
who wanted to know more
about her relationship
with both of these
more than with me.
no this is not about cats,
they play with mice
even when they are dead
look up, walk away
when there really
is no squeaking
anymore.
cats are easily bored.
this is about love
as a deep game
of non-wanting,
mixing religion and love,
death and meditation,
freedom and attachment
all through one sieve.
i only say
i don't want
to be dead
yet.
love and joy
happen beyond control,
so do disappointment
and loneliness.
when i start
to think,
i don't know-
better i have a walk
out of my brain
and myself.
maybe
i can come back.
because love is life
to give and to drink,
with a bad night
i see it now
written in the sun
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